Ten little[!?] cardinals

Thursday, 14 June 2018

Ten little[!?] cardinals

Ten little cardinals… or which one became Pope?


“Don’t worry, you can lose weight by dancing with the Rockettes.”

[I always wondered about the meaning of “detestable enormities” in the petition from the litany in the Anglican Book of Common Prayer composed by the arch-heretic Abp. Cranmer and issued in the name of King Edward VI (but later removed – the petition not the litany – by Queen Elizabeth): “From the tyranny of the Bishop of Rome and all his detestable enormities, Good Lord, deliver us”:  It refers to the Pope’s fat Cardinals such as His Immensity, Tiny Tim! – AQ Tom]

Ten little cardinals going out to dine;
One ate far too much and then there were nine.


“Nighty-night, Eccles baby! I love you.”

Nine little cardinals sat up very late;
One said “Nighty-night!” and then there were eight.


“Never offend people ny mentioning Catholic teaching, that’s my motto!”

Eight little cardinals defending Alfie Evans;
One wasn’t keen on this, and then there were seven.


Fiddling? No, I’m a pianist.”

Seven little cardinals playing dirty tricks;
One rigged a synod and then there were six.


“Hello, everyone, I’ve escaped again!”

Six little cardinals keeping faith alive;
One preferred to change it all, and then there were five.


“One of these days I really must get round to correcting Pope Francis.”

Five little cardinals studied canon law;
One asked some Dubia and then there were four.


“Money makes the world go round. That’s in the Bible somewhere.”

Four little cardinals on a spending spree;
One made all the money go, and then there were three.


“I can’t see any problems with the James Martin approach.”

Three little cardinals building bridges new;
One asked James Martin’s help, and then there were two.


“Lutheran? Catholic? Who cares if they pay their Church Tax?”

Two little cardinals at Communion;
One joined the Protestants, and then there was one.


“Oh no, what’s Pope Francis up to now?”

One little cardinal left silent and alone;
He became the next pope and then there were none.

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