10 Commandments released by the Vatican’s Secretariat for Communications

10 Commandments released by the Vatican’s Secretariat for Communications

 Tesa via Gloria.TV – 3/18/18
Facebook
Twitter
Google+
http://angelqueen.org/2018/03/18/10-commandments-released-by-the-vaticans-secretariat-for-communications/
Get AQ Email Updates
AQ RSS Feed

16 comments on “10 Commandments released by the Vatican’s Secretariat for Communications

  1. This is true genius. C’mon, you know it is.

  2. It’s “cutesy” but it’s just a bit too obvious to define as “genius”. I don’t recall when you joined us here at the Long Branch Saloon, NIN. We’ve had members come up with material Mel Brooks or SNL would have forked over big $$$ for, but that was from the 2007-2012 era, before things changed in formatting the site. So, we old timers, at least this one, may be a bit jaded, even six years later.
    /
    Anyway, it IS funny and de gustibus non disputandum obtains in all aesthetics.

    • I won’t dispute your contention, especially not knowing AQ’s pre-2012 days.
      And you are definitely right that it is obvious…to anyone who has a grain of Catholic sense.
      I’d like to suggest, though, that there are very, very few people, even among those who claim to be Catholic, who do.
      IMHO, the very genius of the thing consists in slamming into their faces the reminder of the existence of that thing called…uh…what was it now?…oh yeah, the Ten Commandments.
      And this fact is implied too: If we can just, merely by stupid selfish and short-sighted human decree, gray out the 6th and 9th Commandments, what stops us from doing the same with ALL of them?
      /
      But of course, si tibi non placeat, intelligo necesse non esse.
      Vale!

  3. “The Era” (2007-2012) will one day make its way into ecclesiastical history! 😉
    /
    I lost count of the ribs I cracked from laughing so hard. To this day, ECS, Howl and others remain household words and are familiar to EVERYONE who knows me.

    • I wish we could access and repost the annual “Lenten Meat-Free Recipes” threads. Those were the essence of AQ for me.

      • I must’ve missed those, a great loss for me! When I was still in my old home town I joined friends for breakfast every Sunday after Mass. They always asked what AQ was cooking up for the coming week. It was a great time to be a trad!

        • Because this was requested:

          Run for your lives! It’s here, it’s now- it’s the 2015
          ATTACK OF THE KILLER FISHIES!!!!

          (DUM-DUM_DUMMM!!)

          The time has come to droop and die
          You walk in your house and want to fly
          But you gotta sit down and I’ll tell you why-
          Yo mama’s churned up a nasty fish fry.

          Those forty days of grace and cod breath are here. If you’ll remember my Lenten thread from last year, I went to a great effort to avoid posting any recipe that reeked of the sea. Anybody want me to repost my two Gruel doozies? (cue the cricket chorus)

          Anyway, this year I’ve decided to give in and embrace my inner Charlie Tuna. How about this:

          Tuna Pie with Gravy

          1 can tuna
          1 egg
          1 tuna can of milk
          Parsley
          2 pie crusts (one for the top and bottom)
          1 can cream of mushroom soup

          Mix together first 4 ingredients and cook in a saucepan for just a few minutes, stirring all the time. Place 1/2 the pie crust into the bottom of a pie plate. Pour in tuna filling and top with remaining piecrust. Cut slits into top piecrust. Bake at 350° for 30-40 minutes. Meanwhile, pour the soup into a saucepan and add 1/3 can of milk or water. Heat, but don’t allow to boil. Cut pie into wedges and serve with gravy poured over top.

          I’m salivating already- NOT!!

          Don’t want fish every night? Here’s a nice cheap meal that will still give your house a penitential stench that no spritz of Febreeze will eradicate.

          4-Ingredient Skillet Cabbage Dinner
          The author of this recipe commented:
          A fast, easy and frugal family dinner? Sounds almost too good to be true, but it isn’t. This recipe for 4-Ingredient Skillet Cabbage Dinner proves that you can make a budget-friendly dinner for your loved ones without sacrificing flavor. This is one of those great recipes in a skillet that’s perfect for busy families because it requires minimal prep work and also minimal cleanup after dinner is over. You’ll love the combination of cabbage, noodles and butter and so will your family, so go ahead and make this budget supper for dinner tonight!

          1 head cabbage, chopped into strips about 2″ x 1″ wide
          2 medium onions, coarsely chopped
          1 1/2 cup real butter
          1 package medium noodles, cooked and drained
          salt and pepper, to taste

          Saute the chopped onions in a very large skillet using 1 stick of the butter. Add cabbage and more butter and saute until the onion and cabbage are soft. Add the noodles and more butter if needed. Mix together well, making sure the butter has evenly coated everything. Season with salt and pepper, to taste.

          We all have to be good traditional Catholics and abstain from meat for those other two meals. So, here’s something for breakfast.
          Cornmeal Mush
          The author of this recipe commented:

          This is very hearty for breakfast, and also makes a nice snack in the middle of the day. I like it with a little margarine and shredded cheese, but it is equally good with sugar or molasses and milk. This recipe serves 4 to 6 people depending on how hungry they are. Of all the breakfast cereals you can buy, this one is the least expensive. We try to have it at least twice a week, sometimes more often because it is so cheap.

          1 cup cornmeal
          1 cup cold tap water
          1 teaspoon salt
          3 cups hot tap water

          In a small bowl, combine the cornmeal and cold tap water. Meanwhile, in a 2 quart pan, combine the salt and hot water. Bring it to a boil over high heat. While the water is heating, add the cornmeal mixed with the cold water. Combining the cornmeal with cool water before adding it to the boiling water keeps the cornmeal from lumping up when it hits the hot water. When the water and cornmeal boil, reduce the heat to low. Allow the mush to simmer for about 10 minutes, or until it is nicely thickened. If your cornmeal is less than fresh, you may add half a tablespoon of sugar to make it taste fresher and sweeter.

          When searching for these recipes, I used the criterion of frugal, even poverty budgeting. This following recipe is a Russian soup that I could actually imagine myself making even outside of Lent.

          Traditional Pohlebka with Buckwheat
          2 large potatoes
          2 large carrot
          1 medium onion
          2 Tbsp garlic
          1/2 cup of buckwheat (dry)
          1 c. parsley or dill (fresh or frozen)

          Cut the potatoes and carrots into medium-sized cubes and boil wit onion and garlic. When veggies are fully cooked, add buckwheat and bring to complete boil. Add salt and pepper to taste and let stand for 15 minutes for flavors to fully absorb. Serve with a pinch of finely chopped dill or parsley.

          Now, at this point my dear fellow Angelqueeners, I decided to get mischievous, changed my criterion, and went searching for “the worst recipe ever.” Why? One: Well, to quote myself from last year: “A very good traditional nun once told me that even those excused from fasting for medical or work reasons can still honor the spirit of Lent. Don’t like pepper on your food? Put pepper on your food. Drink a juice that’s very good for you, but that you can’t stand. Love fish? Go vegetarian. Hate fish? Pile it on. You get the idea.” And Two: It’s just fun.

          Avocado-Lime Salad
          The author of this recipe (NOT me) commented:
          Here’s an abomination, definitely in the running for worst dish ever devised:

          1 pkg. Lime Jello
          1 cup hot water
          1 cup cold water
          1 tbs. green pepper fine cut
          1/4 tsp. salt
          1 tbs. lemon jello
          1 mashed avocado

          Dissolve jello in hot water. Add cold water, salt and lemon juice. Cool until thickened, then beat until fluffy. Add other ingredients. Mold and serve with pimento garnish.

          If you had the misfortune to belong to Weight Watchers in 1972, you would have been issued a full color recipe card containing this horror:

          Fluffy Mackerel Pudding

          2 stalks celery
          1 medium green pepper
          8 ounces drained, canned mackerel, flaked
          1 tablespoon dehydrated onion flakes
          2 teaspoons prepared mustard
          1 teaspoon salt
          1/2 teaspoon cayenne pepper
          1/8 teaspoon mace
          Dash of ground cardamom
          2 medium eggs, slightly beaten
          2 medium eggs, hard-cooked, and sliced

          Put celery and green pepper through a food grinder (or chop finely in blender). Combine with mackerel, onion flakes, mustard, salt, pepper, mace, and cardamom; mix well. Blend in raw eggs. Divide evenly into 4 (8 ounce) heatproof cups. Bake at 350°F (moderate oven) for 35 to 40 minutes. Garnish each with 1/2 sliced egg. Makes 4 luncheon servings.

          Louis the CCXXXII Salad
          The author of this recipe commented:
          The Worst Recipe I’ve Ever Seen….

          1 16oz can cling peach slices
          1 8 oz can green beans
          1 7 3/4 oz can pink salmon
          1 can pitted ripe olives
          4 cups shredded lettuce
          1 1/2 cups chopped celery
          2 Tbsp chopped green onion
          1 Tbsp chopped parsley
          1/4 tsp black pepper
          8 carrot curls
          1 cup sliced cucumbers
          4 cherry tomatoes, quartered
          1 lemon, cut into wedges
          Dressing:
          1/4 bottled French dressing
          1/4 mayonnaise
          1/4 tsp Tabasco sauce

          Chop olives. Drain peaches beans and salmon. Mix canned ingredients with lettuce, celery, onion, parsley, pepper. Combine dressings. Mix 1/2 with fish mixture. To serve, circle fish mix with remaining ingredients and top with dressing. Serves 4. Special equipment: barf bag?

          Okay folks, let’s have fun. Post your favorite Lenten recipes. And may the most gaunt faster win!

          • Since I am old ,I just eat ribs and pulled pork from Costco !,If you have to eat fish , 🍣 sushi or swordfish might suffice ! That stuff you cooked up would make the house unlivable! Might as well cook liver ! Only kidding you all ! Happy Lent !

            • This has made me hungry.
              /
              Nice n’ Nasty Tuna
              Ingredients:
              1 5oz tin of the cheapest tuna you can find. Make sure it’s packed in oil, not water — at only 5oz, you’ll need the calories.
              5oz cottage cheese (optional; for wusses only)
              1 pinch of lemon/pepper seasoning.
              1 pinch sea salt.
              1 computer with internet connection.
              2 human eyeballs (your own).
              2 human hands (also your own).
              /
              Sit down in front of computer.
              Go online to angelqueen.org.
              Use eyeballs to observe.
              Gape, gulp, gasp, groan or guffaw at goings on.
              Get provoked, ponder, ‘n post.
              Hunger hitting hard, careen to kitchen.
              Tear off top of tuna tin.
              Pitch in pinch of lemon/pepper.
              Send in sea salt.
              (If feeling fully faint, chuck in cheese — but beware: being bashful in bearing burden of penance penalizes people in purgatory)
              Stir steadily.
              Consume (can’s *contents*).
              Cast can in compactor.
              Give God gratias Lent lasts not long.

            • Unless there’s a particular health condition, we Olds only get out of fasting, not abstinence. That being said, you made me hanker for some Costco pork.
              And speaking of Costco, when our (5) kids were all under the age of 10, we shopped there so much that one of our friends observed that our kids must think their name is Kirkland, since that’s on all of their underwear labels.

              • Yea , I only eat one meal a day, but during Lent , I cut back and only eat a half rack of ribs ! But on Friday before St. Patrick’s, I had not eaten much at all , but I had a bottle of Jack Daniels single cask select , that I had no tried , so in honor of St Patrick and the fallen warriors of our country, I decided to have a bit of it , since it was not opened! Well it made my egg salad sandwich 🥪 taste a lot better ! Probably should have had more to eat that day ! Still better than those recipes posted, especially with the Jack Daniels !

  4. Reminds me of the ancient Joke that I’m sure I’ve trotted out here before.

    Moses comes down from Mt. Sinai and addresses his people thusly:

    “I got good news, and I got bad news. The good news is, I got Him down to 10. The bad news, adultery’s still in there.”

Leave a Reply