Jesuit Boston College to host Vagina Monologues

Jesuit Boston College to host Vagina Monologues

[“It’s that time of  year again”]

From Cardinal Newman Society Report Card, February 27, 2018

Boston College is celebrating 16 years of hosting The Vagina Monologues, the disgusting play by Eve Ensler.

The student newspaper said the cast made up of BC students “delivered a hilarious introduction skit, endowing the vaginas of Boston College with highly vulgar monikers.

“Lesbian and transgender women were included in the dialogue of The Vagina Monologuesas well,” the student newspaper assured readers. During one monologue, a “southern belle character detailed how a beautiful older woman taught her to love her [private parts] again despite a youth of horrifying experiences with men, including rape.”

Just lovely.

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5 comments on “Jesuit Boston College to host Vagina Monologues

  1. Beaver Cleaver: Gee, it’s a good thing Boston College isn’t still stuck in pre-Vatican II parochialism of the 1950s.

    Ward Cleaver: Why do you say that, Beaver?

    Beaver: Well, gee, Dad, the Land O’Lakes conference helped bring in all kinds of elite professors from prestigious universities so Boston College wouldn’t stay stuck in the backwardness and parochialism before Vatican II that kept Catholic education in the ghetto.

    Ward Cleaver: What gave you that idea, Beaver?

    Beaver: Well, Miss Landers said that the fact that they can perform plays like The Vagina Monologues at Boston College proves that women’s liberation and the #MeToo movement have come of age.

    Ward: She said that?

    Beaver: Well, she said something like that…only there was a bunch of other crazy stuff about Sigmund Freud and Simone de Beauvoir…

    Sgt. Joe Friday: She said that?

    Bill Gannon: Sure, Joe. All the colleges have that play being performed now.

    Ward: Now, Beaver, are you sure that’s what she said?

    Wally: Gee, Dad, what are you gonna do?

    June Cleaver: Maybe you just heard her wrong, Beaver?

    Eddie Haskell: Sometimes the Commies send in unhinged radical lesbos to confuse and terrorize students. They call it Cultural Marxism now. The International Communist Conspiracy can be very tricky, Mrs. Cleaver.

    June: Ward!

    Eddie: I’m sure it’s just a coincidence that the school board sent in Miss Weld to teach the Health class, Mrs. Cleaver. Of course, the way she dotes on Wallace in such an immodest and forward manner, it does make you wonder.

    Miss Weld: Wally is a very talented student. Whenever I can help him with his homework after school, it’s a…

    June: Ward!

    Ward: Did Miss Landers actually have you read anything by Simone de Beauvoir?

    Beaver: Well, right now she has us reading D.H. Lawrence and The Vagina Monologues

    June: Ward!

    Ward: I’m calling the school board.

  2. Literally laughing out loud here, Howl. 😀
    You’ve exponentially topped yourself with this classic!

  3. Ward Cleaver: Well, Beaver, it seems like quite a lot of existential angst, alienation, and absurdity, that you’ve been going through with the Red infiltration of the State Department, the Soviet threat of nuclear annihilation, and all those crazy ideas from The Vagina Monologues Miss Landers has been forcing you and your classmates to discuss in class.

    Beaver Cleaver: Yeah, I guess so. They sure put kids through a lot with all of that crazy junk.

    Eddie Haskell: Of course, the Illuminati ordered Father Hesburgh to organize the Land O’Lakes conference of modernists so the anti-Catholic secret societies could infiltrate Catholic colleges more easily to soften Catholics up for artificial contraception and population control, Mrs. Cleaver. Communism is just one of their methods for controlling the masses while driving them crazy with Cultural Marxism and Frankfurt School gender-bending mind games in a divide and conquer strategy. Crazy and destabilized masses are easier to manipulate when they are bounced around with hysteria. This helps to set them up to become controlled opposition in the globalist Machiavellian agenda.

    June Cleaver: That’s very interesting, Eddie.

    June: Ward, I’m worried about Wally being exposed to that immodest new teacher teaching the Health class.

    Ward: Well, Wally’s a level-headed boy. I’m sure he and Eddie Haskell and Lumpy will all be laughing about it in a few days.

    Miss Weld: Wally Cleaver is a marvelous student.

    Eddie Haskell: Fifth columnists and Cultural Marxists can cause quite a lot of hysteria on a school campus, Mrs. Cleaver. I heard that a left-wing professor at Dartmouth actually bit a conservative student one semester.

    June Cleaver: Oh, Eddie, you don’t think Miss Weld will try to bite Wally, do you?

    Eddie Haskell: I’m sure Wallace hasn’t let things go that far yet, Mrs. Cleaver. Of course, she did invite him to come over to listen to her Bolero record after school. She’s been reading Cosmopolitan. That magazine does put some forward ideas into young women’s heads.

    June: Ward!

    Ward: Bananas?

    Beaver: Yeah. Bananas.

    Ward: Well, what happened after she passed all the bananas around in class?

    Wally: Gosh, Beaver, you weren’t supposed to tell him about that.

    Ward: Did Miss Weld do that in your Health class, Wally?

    Wally: Pretty nutty, huh?

    Ward: I’m dialing the number now, dear.

    Beaver: Boy, he sure seemed mad.

    Wally: Are you in Miss Weld’s Health class?

    Julie: Yeah. Isn’t the Kinsey Report interesting, Wally?

    June: Ward!

  4. LOL; nonetheless, I thought to his father’s question, “Well, what happened after she passed all the bananas around in class?”, Beaver would reply, “We ate them.”

  5. Beaver Cleaver: Well, I guess Pope Francis has to confuse people about the real meaning of Pelagianism and Gnosticism, so they won’t know whether they’re slipping into heresy, huh?

    Ward: Why do you say that, Beaver?

    Beaver: Well, I guess that’s why they need girls screaming and yelling in that filthy play, The Vagina Monologues, to help the students at Boston College get over the backwardness and neo-Pelagian triumphalism of the pre-Vatican II Catholic ghetto before Catholic education became enlightened after the Land O’Lakes conference.

    Ward: Did Miss Landers tell you this in school?

    Beaver: Well, not exactly. But I read about it in Commonweal and The National Catholic Reporter.

    Ward: Well, what did Miss Landers tell you about this in school?

    Beaver: She said that we should all go see The Vagina Monologues because it would help us understand women’s liberation and the #MeToo movement?

    June: Ward! We can’t have an immodest tramp like that telling Beaver those kinds of things in school.

    Ward: Now, Beaver, is the new teacher telling Wally about stuff like that in his Health class?

    Ward: I’m waiting for an answer, Beaver…

    Beaver: Well…will Wally get into trouble if I tell you that she’s been passing bananas around in class and inviting him over after school to listen to her Bolero records?

    Miss Weld: Wally is just very interested in classical music.

    June: Ward!

    Ward: Is this true, Wally?

    Wally: Pretty nutty, huh?

    She’s been reading Cosmopolitan and Helen Gurley Brown.

    Beaver: Well, Mom speaks jive in vulgar comedy movies and she doesn’t get in trouble.

    Dr. Rumack: Don’t change the subject.

    Ward: He’s got a point, dear.

    June: That was just a comedy movie.

    Eddie Haskell: The Seven Year Itch was just a comedy movie too, Mrs. Cleaver.

    Captain Oveur: Have you ever been to Boston College before, Tommy?

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