Brilliant, Holy Father, you should have become a woodchopper

Brilliant, Holy Father, you should have become a woodchopper

en.cartoon – 1/22/18


[FrankenPope’s Reported Words: “I Might Go Down in History for Having Split the Catholic Church”]

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One comment on “Brilliant, Holy Father, you should have become a woodchopper

  1. Küng Fu: Modernism the Legend Continues

    Master Po: What is troubling you, Grasshopper?

    Kwai Chang: I am confused, Master.

    Master Po: What has you confused, Grasshopper? Did you misplace your flute and are unable to play spaced-out, hippie Jethro Tull flute runs while your brain is on idle?

    Kwai Chang: No, Master. I still have my flute. But I am confused about something else.

    Master Po: Well then, Grasshopper, are you wondering if the Philadelphia Eagles fans will throw bottles and cans, hurling vulgar insults at New England Patriots fans at the Super Bowl in Minnesota whether Tom Brady will answer their colorful South Philly insults and witticisms with another F-bomb tantrum of his own?

    Hans Küng: I would like to comment on that…

    Kwai Chang: That is an interesting dilemma of National Football League etiquette, Master. But I am actually confused about something else.

    Master Po: Well, then, perhaps you are still wondering why American college students were triggered by Steve Martin’s “King Tut” song as a politically-incorrect microaggression of cultural appropriation, sending them in hysteria as crazed snowflakes searching for safe spaces?

    Steve Martin: Funky Tut! A wild and crazy guy, yeah!

    Kwai Chang: That is confusing and absurd, Master. I am certain that Mister Steve Martin did not mean any disrespect to Tutankhamun or the ancient Egyptians, but I am actually confused about something else.

    Master Po: Perhaps the curse of Tutankhamun has affected postmodern professors’ and students’ minds, Grasshopper. The realm of illusion presents many challenges and dangers through the deceptions of maya, as the wheel of karma turns around and around. But what is confusing you right now, Grasshopper?

    Kwai Chang: Forgive me, Master. I am wondering if Pope Francis has split the Church
    with progressive modernist heresy and dissembling situation ethics, is he a puppet of the secret society of the Illuminati, seeking to divide and weaken the Church with the neo-Gnostic heresy?

    Master Po: Strange are the ways of the cycle of karma in the realm of illusion when searching for the flow of the Tao , are they not, Grasshopper? As the great philosopher Lao-Tzu has said in the Tao Te Ching. Long is our journey in search of the Tao. For who can know the way to San Jose in the arduous quest for satori? Many are the things in the search for the Tao that give rise to wonder, as Yin and Yang swing back and forth in the dialectic of the cycle of karma. If another woman claims that Al Franken has squeezed her behind, will Stuart Smalley return for more therapy and self-affirmation training on Saturday Night Live?

    Stuart Smalley: Well, now let’s all pause for a moment of Zen…

    Kwai Chang: Forgive me, Master. Perhaps the Illuminati wish to confused us by creating so many subordinate secret societies that it is hard to keep track of all of them.

    Natasha Fatale: Where does Amerikanski FBI secret society meet?

    Boris Badenov: Here is FBI headquarters. Here is secret society meeting safe house.

    Maxwell Smart: You’ll never believe this, Chief. I think we found those missing text messages…

    Agent Scully: You didn’t happen to see Alice or the Mad Hatter by any chance?

    Agent Mulder: No, but I’d bet money you’ll find the Red Queen if you follow the smoke to Chappaqua.

    The Chief: Max, I thought you were supposed to go to the Illuminati secret society party in Georgetown dressed as the White Rabbit.

    Maxwell Smart: Couldn’t I go dressed as Zorro or the Lone Ranger?

    Siegfried: Schmart is very close to unravelling the truth about the pee pee dossier.

    Mustafa: Alright. Alright. We made the whole thing up to cover up the fact that the secret society killed Seth Rich.

    Columbo: Oh. Well, what do ya know? All these Alinskyites in the FBI, the DOJ, Fusion GPS, the Deep State, and the Hillary campaign…they all knew one another from long before and were meeting in a secret society clubhouse.

    Fearless Leader: Confusion is the essence of every Alinskyite operation. Release the fruitcake Cultural Marxists to begin the next phase of cultural hysteria!

    Doctor Strangelove: Ja, ja. Zat ist ze essence of every Alinskyite operation.

    Archie: Did ya hear that over there, Meathead? That’s why they got them pinko fruitcake Frankfurt School social theorists over at Columbia and NYU. To keep you’s liberal hippie types confused and in hysteria, running around like chickens with your heads cut off and what not.

    Meathead: Gloria! Ma! Somebody help me out here!

    General Ripper: How’s that for your post-war Commie pinko plot!
    To get American men confused, questioning their own masculinity and virility through Frankfurt School gender bending operations and Communist subversion.

    General Ripper: Mandrake, did you ever wonder why they put Floyd and Gomer on The Andy Griffith Show? At the same time that fluoridation of water and mass vaccinations were sterilizing the population?

    General Turgidson: You do see more fruitcakes around these days whooping up hysteria in the colleges.

    Captain Kirk: Are you feeling confused, Spock?

    Kierkegaard: I am feeling anxious…

    Ginger: That must be why the professor is confused.

    The Professor: Well, Gilligan, it has something to do with the dilemmas of Cartesian dualism in modernity…

    Kato: Cartesian dualism?

    Green Hornet: It’s a bit technical, Kato.

    Batman: Yes, I’m sure your Religion and History teachers at Fordham Prep will present something on this, Robin. How is the Latin homework coming?

    Hegel: It’s all part of the dialectic.

    Father Mulcahy, S.J.: Oh, yes, very good, Georg.

    Chrissy: But what does Geworfenheit mean?

    Jack: Well, let’s see…it all started one day when Heidegger was hiking through the Black Forest in Bavaria on the way to his grandmother’s house when all of a sudden the big bad wolf jumped out from behind a bush..

    Reverend Neuhaus: That’s my opening….Forgive me for interrupting again as aggressive and pushy professional Protestant converts sometimes do, but speaking as a semi-recovering former Lutheran familiar with the pitfalls of eliminating reason and logic from discussions of religion, this might be a good time to discuss the Naked Public Square in modernity, Max Weber’s concept of disenchantment in modern culture, and Professor Taylor’s secularization theories….

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