Former Benedictine Abbot: Don’t Call Bishops “Spineless Nerds and Sycophantic Half-Wits”

Former Benedictine Abbot: Don’t Call Bishops “Spineless Nerds and Sycophantic Half-Wits”

Priests should stop calling bishops “spineless nerds and sycophantic half-wits” if they want them to accommodate to their views, former Abbot Mark Patrick Hederman OSB told the Modernist Irish Association of Catholic Priests during their annual meeting.

According to the Irish Times (November 8) Hederman added that “even the most junior politician and unseasoned diplomat would tell them that they are going about it the wrong way” implying though that the bishops are vain and need to be flattered into adapting to Modernism.

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2 comments on “Former Benedictine Abbot: Don’t Call Bishops “Spineless Nerds and Sycophantic Half-Wits”

  1. Surely, they’re full-wits.

  2. Küng Fu: Modernism the Legend Continues

    Master Po: What is troubling you, Grasshopper?

    Kwai Chang: I am confused, Master.

    Master Po: What is confusing you now, Grasshopper? Is it the Pope’s ban on cigarette sales in the Vatican or American college students complaining about Steve Martin’s cultural appropriation of King Tut and Egyptian antiquities, sending them searching for safe spaces?

    Kwai Chang: No, Master. I am confused by something else. Why should priests should stop calling bishops “spineless nerds and sycophantic half-wits” when modernist bishops following the progressive Spirit of Vatican II are beginning to perfect their spineless nerdom and half-witted sycophancy?

    Master Po: Strange are the ways of the cycle of karma when searching for the flow of the Tao, Grasshopper. For who can know the way to San Jose? Perhaps the bishops are merely sycophantic nerds in search of spineless half-wittedness…

    Kwai Chang: I cannot be certain, Master.

    Master Po: Why can you not be certain, Grasshopper?

    Kwai Chang: Because David Hume has forbidden me from being certain on metaphysical matters, Master.

    Master Po: Then I shall put it to you another way, Grasshopper. If a spineless nerd was lost in the neo-Kantian maze of modernist dialectic and situation ethics, would he be more likely to find the Teilhardian Omega Point in a shopping mall or at a catered theological conference in a luxury hotel?

    Kwai Chang: I cannot be certain of the correct answer, Master.

    Master Po: Ah, Grasshopper, perhaps you are stuck on the fact that both venues would be supplied with dangerous air conditioning, threatening climate change and global warming?

    Kwai Chang: That is a valid concern, Master. But actually I was not certain how they might recognize the Teilhardian Omega Point if they should see it in everyday circumstances. Perhaps I did not read Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance as carefully as I should have.

    Father Mulcahy, S.J.: Yes, that could present challenges even for some of the sharper modernist theologians who can follow the neo-Kantian modernist casuistry of Bergoglian situation ethics…

    Kierkegaard: We can deal with the problem of nerd sycophancy and half-witted spinelessness in organized religion, as long as we focus some attention on Angst and existential self-estrangement from Cartesian dualism in modernity…

    Hans Küng: I would like to comment that…

    The Riddler: That’s why with the new and improved Spirit of Vatican II, we’re offering the Teilhardian noösphere in a can. That’s right. For just three easy payments of $14.95 you can freshen up any seminary room with the Teilhardian noösphere in a can, taking your transcendental ego ever closer through the phenomenological modernist dialectic to the Teilhardian Omega Point with just a few pumps on this aerosol spray can.

    Reverend Neuhaus: That’s my opening….Forgive me for interrupting again as aggressive and pushy professional Protestant converts sometimes do, but speaking as a semi-recovering former Lutheran familiar with the pitfalls of eliminating reason and logic from discussions of religion, this might be a good time to discuss the Naked Public Square in modernity, Max Weber’s concept of disenchantment in modern culture, and Professor Taylor’s secularization theories….

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