“Dialogue”? Priest Who Wrote Letter to Pope Asked to Resign from USCCB

“Dialogue”? Priest Who Wrote Letter to Pope Asked to Resign from USCCB

This morning we told you the story of Fr. Thomas Weinandy, a Capuchin friar who, after receiving what he believed was a sign from God, wrote a letter to Pope Francis — with obvious filial respect and love — in the hopes of bringing to his attention some of the more damaging effects of his papacy.

Father Weinandy is a current member of the Vatican’s International Theological Commission, as well as the former chief of staff for the US Conference of Catholic Bishops (USCCB) Committee on Doctrine. Apparently, he was still serving in the capacity of consultant to the USCCB, because today, after the publication of his letter, he was asked to resign. According to Carl E. Olson, Editor of Catholic World Report, Fr. Weinandy told him this morning that since the letter’s publication, he had “received many positive notes from theologians, priests, and lay people.” Nevertheless, “the USCCB asked him to resign from his current position as a consultant to the bishops,” and Fr. Weinandy has complied. As Olson notes, “In making such a request, the USCCB, it would appear, reinforces Fr. Weinandy’s very point about fearfulness and lack of transparency” as made in his letter.

One diocesan priest who spoke with 1P5 on condition of anonymity said that he was certain Fr. Weinandy’s letter “drew consternation from several US Cardinals and Bishops”, particularly where the letter addressed how “faithful Catholics can only be disconcerted” by the pope’s choice of some bishops, “men who seem not merely open to those who hold views counter to Christian belief but who support and even defend them,” causing scandal to the faithful and weakening the sensus fidei.

“There is no way” the priest told me, “that this remark didn’t directly sting Cardinal Cupich, Cardinal Tobin, Cardinal Ferrell, and Bishop McElroy in particular, as they have been busy supporting Father James Martin, S.J., and others like him. I would be very surprised if they were not directly behind Fr. Thomas Weinandy’s forced resignation.”

Cardinal Daniel DiNardo, President of the USCCB, released a statement today about Fr. Weinandy — never once mentioning that he was asked to resign, but only speaking of his unexplained “departure” — under the auspices that the situation is an opportunity to reflect on “dialogue within the Church.” The statement reads:

“The departure today of Fr. Thomas Weinandy, O.F.M., Cap., as a consultant to the Committee on Doctrine and the publication of his letter to Pope Francis gives us an opportunity to reflect on the nature of dialogue within the Church.  Throughout the history of the Church, ministers, theologians and the laity all have debated and have held personal opinions on a variety of theological and pastoral issues. In more recent times, these debates have made their way into the popular press. That is to be expected and is often good.  However, these reports are often expressed in terms of opposition, as political – conservative vs. liberal, left vs. right, pre-Vatican II vs Vatican II.  These distinctions are not always very helpful.

Christian charity needs to be exercised by all involved. In saying this, we all must acknowledge that legitimate differences exist, and that it is the work of the Church, the entire body of Christ, to work towards an ever-growing understanding of God’s truth.

As Bishops, we recognize the need for honest and humble discussions around theological and pastoral issues. We must always keep in mind St. Ignatius of Loyola’s “presupposition” to his Spiritual Exercises: “…that it should be presumed that every good Christian ought to be more eager to put a good interpretation on a neighbor’s statement than to condemn it.” This presupposition should be afforded all the more to the teaching of Our Holy Father.

The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops is a collegial body of bishops working towards that goal. As Pastors and Teachers of the Faith, therefore, let me assert that we always stand in strong unity with and loyalty to the Holy Father, Pope Francis, who “is the perpetual and visible source and foundation of the unity both of the bishops and of the whole company of the faithful” (LG, no. 23).”

The reader is left to wonder how “dialogue” has become a euphemism for “suppression of any views different than our own”. How is it that those who speak most forcefully in favor of “tolerance” are always the last to practice tolerance toward those with ideas they find inconvenient? How is it that the President of the USCCB lacks the courage to simply state that Fr. Weinandy was asked to resign for speaking an unpopular opinion, regardless of its merit, and without consideration given to the fact that it was voiced respectfully and in the exercise of his conscience on a matter of grave importance — and about which he has the requisite theological competency to comment?

For some time now, we have been using terms in our coverage like “The Dictatorship of Mercy” and “The Persecution of Orthodoxy” to help explain the reality orthodox Catholics face in the Church of 2017: if you stand up for the truths of the faith, you will suffer the consequences at the hands of those charged with defending those same truths. And as we have told you, there is no reason to expect we won’t see this reaction continue to escalate.

Our Church has become Orwellian indeed. One is reminded of Bishop Athanasius Schneider’s recent remarks, based on his experience growing up in the Soviet Union:

For decades it became within the Church politically correct and “good manners” to proclaim and to promote practically the freedom of theological speech, debate and research, so that freedom in thinking and speaking became a slogan. At the same time, one can now observe the paradox that this very freedom is denied to those in the Church who in our days raise their voices with respect and politeness in defense of the truth. This bizarre situation reminds me of a famous song which I had to sing in the Communist school in my childhood, and whose wording was, as follows: “The Soviet Union is my beloved homeland, and I do not know another country in the world where man can breathe so freely.”

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13 comments on ““Dialogue”? Priest Who Wrote Letter to Pope Asked to Resign from USCCB

  1. Captain Kirk: Mister Spock! The modernist bishops of the USCCB calling for “dialogue” after firing a theologian who criticized the Pope… analyze using your usual superior Vulcan logic which we no longer call “superior” in public discussions in order to avoid being accused of neo-Pelagian triumphalism and excessive rigidity by sensitive liberals and progressive modernists who might be less familiar with Aristotelian logic due to changes in curriculum from the Land O’Lakes conference and who, therefore, might view displays of logic as triggering events and microaggressions …

    Spock: Fascinating, Captain. It would seem that there is a double standard, given the exuberance of the modernist celebrations of the 500th anniversary of the Lutheran Reformation, while giving the back hand to orthodox Catholics deemed too rigid or too conservative.

    Captain Kirk: They can’t engage in ecumenical “dialogue” with conservative Catholics?

    Spock: That would appear to be the case, Captain. In the tradition of Orwell, perhaps some dialogues are more equal than others.

    Luther: I will not “dialogue” with the Italian dogs and popish toadies who feed on the dung of the Antichrist.

    King Henry VIII: Off with their heads! And bring me the women!

    Hans Küng: I would like to address that…

    King Henry VIII: Just give me a son and you can have any abbey you want.

    Dr. Strangelove: Now we see the fresh air of the modern world blowing across the great issues of sex and money.

    Father Mulcahy, S.J.: Oh, yes…

    Max Weber: Let me just add a few observations on this…

    King Henry VIII: What is it, Thomas?

    Thomas More: Lately, I’ve been troubled by visions of televangelists and dystopian cities of steel and glass, filled with crazed maniacs chasing after money all day long, where motor trucks run over people…

    Reverend Neuhaus: That’s my opening….Forgive me for interrupting again as aggressive and pushy professional Protestant converts sometimes do, but speaking as a semi-recovering former Lutheran familiar with the pitfalls of eliminating reason and logic from discussions of religion, this might be a good time to discuss the Naked Public Square in modernity, Max Weber’s concept of disenchantment in modern culture, and Professor Taylor’s secularization theories….

  2. Captain Kirk: Mister Spock, has anyone ever compiled a list of all of the groups and religions that modernist Catholics are in dialogue with?

    Spock: Not that I am aware of, Captain. However, I could consult the ship’s computer on that. if you so request.

    Father Mulcahy, S.J.: Of course, it would also be useful to compile a list of which modernists can claim to be in dialogue with orthodox, conservative, and traditional Catholics.

    Reverend Neuhaus: Forgive me for interrupting again as aggressive and pushy professional Protestant converts sometimes do, but I should point out that not all orthodox, conservative, or traditional Catholics are in “dialogue” with one another. I realize that this might seem passive-aggressive for a Protestant convert to point out, as if overcompensating, but it only seems fair. Incidentally, some neo-Catholic modernists are so confident in their own point of view that they dismiss traditional Catholics altogether.

    • You asked for it:


      Compiled by the Franciscan Friars of the Atonement’s Centro pro Unione in Rome (An updated version is in preparation on the Centro’s new website)

      Under each category is a list of all meetings of that group along with the documentation of each meeting (I think that amount of data would crash the Enterprise’s computer)

      A-B: Anglican-Baptist International Forum
      A-B / eng: Informal Conversations between the Baptist Union of Great
      Britain and theChurch of England
      A-L: Anglican-Lutheran International Commission
      A-L/ africa: All Africa Anglican-Lutheran Commission
      A-L/ aus: Anglican-Lutheran Conversationsin Australia
      A-L/ can:Canadian Lutheran Anglican Dialogue
      and ofthe Church of England
      A-L / eng-nordic regions: Representatives of the Nordic countries and of
      the Church of England
      A-L/ eur: Anglican-Lutheran European Regional Commission
      A-L/ usa: Episcopal-Lutheran Dialogue in the USA
      A-L-R / eng-f: Official Dialogue between the Church of England and the
      Lutheran-Reformed Permanent Council in France
      A-M: Anglican-Methodist International Commission
      A-M / eng: Anglican-Methodist Conversation in Great Britain
      A-M / usa: United Methodist-Episcopal Bilateral Dialogue
      A-M-R/eng: InformalConversationsbetween theChurch ofEngland,the
      Methodist Church and the United Reformed Church
      A-Mo: Anglican-Moravian Conversations
      A-Mo / usa: Moravian-Episcopal Dialogue in the USA
      A-O: Anglican-Orthodox Joint Doctrinal Commission
      A-O/ usa: Anglican-Orthodox Theological Consultation in the USA
      A-OC: Anglican-Old Catholic Theological Conversations
      A-OC / na: Anglican-Old Catholic North American Working Group
      A-OO: Anglican-Oriental Orthodox Dialogue
      A-OO/ copt: Anglican-Coptic Relations
      A-R: Anglican-Reformed International Commission
      A-R / usa: Presbyterian-Episcopal Bilateral Dialogue
      A-RC: Anglican-Roman Catholic International Commission (ARCIC)
      A-RC:InternationalAnglican-RomanCatholicCommission forUnityand
      Mission (IARCCUM)
      A-RC / aus: Anglican-Roman CatholicCommission of Australia
      A-RC / b:Belgian Anglican-Roman Catholic Committee
      A-RC / br:Brazilian Anglican-Roman Catholic National Commission
      A-RC / can:Canadian Anglican-Roman Catholic Dialogue Commission
      A-RC / eng: English Anglican-Roman Catholic Committee
      A-RC /f: Anglican-Catholic Joint Working Group in France
      A-RC / nz: Anglican-Roman Catholic Commission in Aotearoa New
      Zealand (ARCCANZ)
      A-RC / usa: Anglican-Roman Catholic Dialogue in the USA
      UnitingChurch in Australia
      AC-CC:JointCommission for Unity between the Assyrian Church ofthe
      East and the Chaldean Catholic Church
      AC-OO/ copt:Theological Dialogue between the AssyrianChurch ofthe
      East and the Coptic OrthodoxChurch
      N. 81 /Spring 2012 Bulletin / Centro Pro Unione 21
      AC-OO / syr: Bilateral Commission between the Assyrian Church of the
      East and the Syrian OrthodoxChurch
      Church and the Assyrian Church ofthe East
      AIC-R: Dialogue between the African Instituted Churches and the World
      Alliance ofReformed Churches
      B-CPCE/ eur: Dialogue between the Community of Protestant Churches
      in Europe and the European Baptist Federation
      B-L:Baptist-Lutheran Dialogue
      B-L/ g:Baptist-Lutheran Dialogue in Germany
      B-L/ n:Baptist-Lutheran Dialogue in Norway
      B-L/sf:Baptist-Lutheran Conversation in Finland
      B-L/ usa:Baptist-Lutheran Dialogue in the USA
      B-M-W/ italy:Baptist-Methodist-Waldensian Relationsin Italy
      B-Mn:Baptist-Mennonite Theological Conversations
      B-O:Baptist-Orthodox Preparatory Dialogue
      B-R:Baptist-Reformed Dialogue
      B-RC:Baptist-Roman Catholic International Conversations
      B-RC /f:Baptist-Catholic Joint Committee in France
      B-RC / usa (ab): American Baptist-Roman Catholic Dialogue
      B-RC / usa (sb): Southern Baptist-Roman Catholic Dialogue
      CEC-CCEE: Joint Committee of Conference of European Churches and
      Council of European Episcopal Conferences
      D-L/ usa: Disciples ofChrist-Lutheran Dialogue in the USA
      D-O/ rus: Disciples ofChrist-Russian Orthodox Dialogue
      D-R: Disciples ofChrist-Reformed Dialogue
      D-RC: Disciples of Christ-Roman Catholic International Commission for
      D-U / aus:Conversations between theChurches ofChrist in Australia and
      the UnitingChurch in Australia
      D-U / usa: Disciples of Christ-United Church of Christ Dialogue in the
      DOMBES: Dialogues des Dombes
      E-RC: Evangelical-Roman Catholic Dialogue on Mission
      the Seventh-day Adventist Church
      FC-O/ g: Free Churches-Orthodox Dialogue in Germany
      FO: Faith and Order conferences, consultations,studies
      L-M:International Lutheran-MethodistJoint Commission
      L-M / n: Conversation between the Church of Norway and the United
      Methodist Church in Norway
      L-M / s: Dialogue between the United Methodist Church in Sweden and
      Church of Sweden
      L-M /sf: Lutheran-Methodist Dialogue in Finland
      L-M / usa: US Lutheran-United Methodist Dialogue
      L-Mn : Lutheran-Mennonite International StudyCommission
      L-Mn /f: Lutheran-Mennonite Dialogue in France
      L-Mn/g:Theological Dialogue between theUnited EvangelicalLutheran
      Church in Germany (VELKD) and the Association of Mennonite
      Assembliesin Germany (AMG)
      L-Mn / usa: Lutheran-Mennonite Dialogue in the USA
      L-Mn-RC: Lutheran-Mennonite-Catholic Dialogue Commission
      L-Mo / usa: Lutheran-Moravian Dialogue in the USA
      L-O: Lutheran-Orthodox Joint Commission
      L-O/ g:Theological Dialogue between the OrthodoxChurch in Germany
      and the Evangelical Church in Germany
      L-O / g-cp: Theological Dialogue between the Evangelical Church in
      Germany (EKD) and the Ecumenical Patriarchate
      L-O / g-rom: Theological Dialogue between the Evangelical Church in
      Germany (EKD) and the Romanian OrthodoxChurch
      L-O / g-rus: Theological Dialogue between the Evangelical Church in
      Germany (EKD) and the Russian OrthodoxChurch
      of Finland and the Finnish OrthodoxChurch
      L-O / sf-rus: Theological Discussions between the Evangelical Lutheran
      Church of Finland and the Russian OrthodoxChurch
      L-O/ usa: Lutheran-Orthodox Dialogue in the USA
      L-O-R / f: Dialogue between Representatives of the Inter-Orthodox
      Bishops’ Committee in France and the Protestant Federation of France
      L-O-R / na: Lutheran-Orthodox-Reformed Theological Conversations in
      North America
      L-OC / g: Dialogue between the United Evangelical Lutheran Church in
      Germany (VELKD) and the Old CatholicChurch in Germany
      L-OC / s: Commission for Dialogue between the Church of Sweden and
      the Old Catholic Churches ofthe Union of Utrecht
      L-OO / copt: Theological Dialogue between the Coptic Evangelical
      Church and the Coptic OrthodoxChurch
      L-OO/ copt-s:Coptic Orthodox-Lutheran Dialogue in Sweden
      L-OO/ g:Consultations between theOriental OrthodoxChurches and the
      Evangelical Church in Germany
      L-OO / india: Dialogue between the Orthodox Syrian Church of the East
      and the Lutheran Churchesin India
      L-Pe : Lutheran-Pentecostal Conversations
      L-Pe /sf: Lutheran-Pentecostal Dialogue in Finland
      L-Pe-R /f: Pentecostal-Protestant Dialogue in France
      L-R: Lutheran-Reformed Joint Commission
      L-R/arg: Dialoguebetween theEvangelicalChurch oftheRio de laPlata
      and the EvangelicalCongregational Church of Argentina
      L-R / aus: Dialogue between the Lutheran Church of Australia and the
      Reformed Churches of Australia
      L-R / can:Canadian Lutheran-Reformed Conversations
      L-R /f: Fédération Protestante de France
      L-R / usa: Lutheran-Reformed Committee for Theological Conversations
      in the USA
      L-R-RC: Lutheran-Reformed-Roman Catholic Dialogue
      L-R-RC /f:Catholic-ProtestantJoint Working Group in France
      L-R-SDA /f: Protestant-Seventh-day Adventist Dialogue in France
      L-R-U / eur: LeuenbergChurch Fellowship
      L-RC: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Commission on Unity
      L-RC / aus: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Dialogue in Australia
      L-RC / br: National Roman Catholic-Lutheran Commission in Brazil
      L-RC / can: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Dialogue in Canada
      L-RC/g:JointCommissionoftheEvangelicalChurch inGermany(EKD)
      and the German Episcopal Conference (DB)
      L-RC / india: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Dialogue in India
      L-RC /jap: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Joint Commission in Japan
      L-RC / n: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Discussion Group in Norway
      L-RC / s: Official Working Group of Dialogue between the Church of
      Sweden and the Catholic Diocese of Stockholm
      L-RC /sf: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Relationsin Finland
      L-RC / usa: Lutheran-Roman Catholic Dialogue in the USA
      L-SDA: Lutheran-Seventh-day Adventist Consultations
      and the UnitingChurch in Australia
      M-O: Methodist-OrthodoxCommission
      M-Pe-W/ italy: Methodist-Pentecostal-Waldensian Dialogue in Italy
      M-R: Methodist-Reformed Dialogue
      M-RC: Joint Commission between the Roman Catholic Church and the
      World Methodist Council
      M-RC / eng: English Roman Catholic-Methodist Committee
      Methodist Church in the USA
      M-SA:InternationalDialogue between the Salvation Army and theWorld
      Methodist Council
      Mn-R: Mennonite World Conference and World Alliance of Reformed
      Mn-R / nl: Mennonite-Reformed Dialogue in the Netherlands
      Mn-RC: Mennonite-Catholic International Dialogue
      Mn-RC / latin america: Mennonite-Catholic Dialogue in Latin America
      22 Bulletin / Centro Pro Unione N. 81 / Spring 2012
      Mn-SDA: Mennonite-Seventh-day Adventist Theological Conversations
      O-OC:Joint (Mixed) Orthodox-Old Catholic Theological Commission
      O-OO: Joint Commission of the Theological Dialogue between the
      OrthodoxChurch and the Oriental OrthodoxChurches
      O-OO/rus: TheologicalDialogue between theRussianOrthodoxChurch
      and the Oriental OrthodoxChurches
      O-OO/rus-armenia: TheologicalDialoguebetweentheRussianOrthodox
      Church and the Armenian Apostolic Church
      O-R: Orthodox-Reformed International Dialogue
      O-R / ch: Protestant-Orthodox Dialogue Commission in Switzerland
      O-R / na: Orthodox-Reformed Conversationsin North America
      O-R / rus: Dialogue between the World Alliance of Reformed Churches
      and the Russian OrthodoxChurch
      O-RC:JointInternationalCommission forTheological Dialogue between
      the Roman CatholicChurch and the OrthodoxChurch
      O-RC / can:Canadian Orthodox and Catholic Bishops’ Dialogue
      O-RC / ch: Orthodox-Roman Catholic Dialogue in Switzerland
      O-RC /f:Joint Catholic-OrthodoxCommittee in France
      O-RC / rom: Joint Commission for Dialogue between the Romanian
      OrthodoxChurch and theRomanianChurch UnitedwithRome (GreekCatholic)
      O-RC / rus: Theological Conversations between Representatives of the
      Russian OrthodoxChurch and the Roman CatholicChurch
      and the German Episcopal Conference
      of Australia and the UnitingChurch in Australia
      OC-R-RC / ch: Old Catholic-Reformed-Roman Catholic Dialogue in
      OC-RC: Old Catholic-Roman CatholicConversations
      OC-RC / ch: Dialogue Commission of the Old Catholic and the Roman
      Catholic Churchesin Switzerland
      OC-RC / g: Dialogue between the Old Catholic Church and the Roman
      Catholic Church in Germany
      OC-RC / na: Polish National Catholic -Roman Catholic Dialogue
      OC-RC / nl: Old Catholic-Roman Catholic Study Commission in the
      OC-RC / pol: Joint Commission of the Polish Catholic Church and the
      Roman CatholicChurch in Poland
      OO-R: Oriental Orthodox-Reformed Theological Dialogue
      OO-RC: International Joint Commission for Theological Dialogue
      between the Catholic Church and the Oriental OrthodoxChurches.
      OO-RC / armenia: Armenian Apostolic Church-Catholic Church Joint
      OO-RC / copt: International Joint Commission between the Catholic
      Church and the Coptic OrthodoxChurch
      OO-RC / ethiop: Ethiopian Orthodox Church and Catholic Church
      OO-RC/ india:JointInternationalCommission for Dialogue between the
      CatholicChurch and the Malankara Orthodox Syrian Church
      OO-RC/syr-india:JointInternationalCommission forDialogue between
      the Catholic Church and the Malankara Syrian OrthodoxChurch
      OO-RC / usa: Official Oriental Orthodox-Roman Catholic Consultation
      Pe-R: Pentecostal-Reformed Dialogue
      Pe-RC: Pentecostal-Roman Catholic International Dialogue
      Pe-WCC:Joint Consultative Group between the WCC and Pentecostals
      R-RC:Reformed-Roman Catholic Joint StudyCommission
      R-RC / a: Dialogue between theRoman CatholicChurch and the Presbyterian
      Reformed Church in Austria
      R-RC/b:DialoguebetweentheRomanCatholicChurch and thePresbyterian
      Reformed Church in Belgium
      R-RC / ch: Protestant/Roman Catholic Dialogue Commission in Switzerland
      R-RC / nl: Dialogue between the Roman Catholic Church and the
      Reformed Church in the Netherlands
      of Scotland
      R-RC / usa: Roman Catholic-Presbyterian Reformed Consultation in the
      R-SDA: International Theological Dialogue between the Seventh-day
      Adventist Church and the World Alliance ofReformed Churches
      R-SDA / usa: Presbyterian Church (USA)-Seventh-dayAdventistChurch
      RC-SA: Salvation Army – Catholic Informal Conversation
      RC-SDA:Conversations between the Seventh-day Adventist Church and
      the Roman CatholicChurch
      RC-U / aus: Working Group of the Roman Catholic Church and the
      UnitingChurch in Australia
      RC-U / can:Roman Catholic-United Church Dialogue Group in Canada
      RC-W/ italy:Roman Catholic-Waldensian Relationsin Italy
      the World Council ofChurches
      SA-SDA: Theological Dialogue between the Salvation Army and the
      Seventh-day Adventist Church
      WCC:World Council ofChurches- assemblies, convocations, relations

  3. Snake Handlers, Skoptsy, Albigensians, Church of the SubGenius ?

  4. Pope Francis to “dialogue” with J.R. “Bob” Dobbs and the Church of the SubGenius
    Holly Beth McQuackly
    National Catholic Distorter
    November 4, 2017

    Vatican City – Pope Francis plans to meet with J.R. Bob Dobbs of the Church of the SubGenius for ecumenical dialogue. The two will release a joint statement on how the two churches can work together on values they share in common.

    When contacted at his office at the Gregorian University in Rome where he teaches a seminar on moral theology, Father Guido Sarducci reported that the Holy Father has been studying SubGenius theology and sacred writings for some time. “Closer relations with the Church of the SubGenius is very close to the Holy Father’s heart,” Father Sarducci said. “In keeping with the Spirit of Vatican II, in order to cultivate a spirit of ecumenical dialogue, the Holy Father has established an annual soccer match between Catholic students from Argentina and SubGenii. Everyone is very excited about this.”

    Father Guido Sarducci, Professor of Moral Theology at the Gregorian University in Rome

    “As a sign of good faith, the Pope has appointed Father James Martin, S.J., as the Special Diplomatic Emissary to the Church of the SubGenius in the Americas for the Holy See,” Father Sarducci said. When asked what Father Martin’s duties will be for this ecumenical and diplomatic post, Father Sarducci replied, “Oh, things like chaperoning ecumenical CYO dances with students from the Church of the SubGenius. The Holy Father, who is very much committed to Divine Mercy and the Spirit of Vatican II, feels that if Catholics and SubGenii can dance together, they should come closer to overcoming the distances between the two denominations. There have even been discussions of joint Catholic-SubGenius stadium nights at Major League Baseball games where both denominations will participate in the Macarena.”

    Father Martin demonstates that he is a fan of the University of Texas Longhorns. Such mudras and gestures of modernist inculturation have become a regular feature of the hand jive of the Spirit of Vatican II.

    Modernist theologian Hans Küng is said to be preparing a book on Catholic-SubGenius dialogue which will be available in stores on the Friday after Thanksgiving. The anthology volume is being published by Fordham University Press. Discussions will include a joint statement by the two churches on Rudolf Bultmann and Modern Biblical Criticism, the Marxist dialectic in postmodern Liberation Theology in suburban Los Angeles, Jungian feminist perspectives on female ordination in the 21st Century, the dangers of air conditioning in the age of the internet, and the hermeneutics of the similarities between Bob Dobbs and Ward Cleaver. Staff from The National Catholic Distorter have been studying the new Vatican initiative by Pope Francis and will report back on new developments as they come in.

  5. Dr. Jung: Very interesting….

    Professor Tolkien: It’s quite comforting actually and warms your hands up during the winter months.

    Freud: I prefer cigars….

    Steve Douglas: It is quite relaxing…..

  6. Küng Fu: Modernism the Legend Continues

    Master Po: What is troubling you, Grasshopper?

    Kwai Chang: The pipe of Mister Steve Douglas.

    Master Po: What is it about the pipe of Mister Steve Douglas that is puzzling you, Grasshopper?

    Kwai Chang: There is a resemblance between J.R. Bob Dobbs and Ward Cleaver, Master, but the pipe of Mister Steve Douglas also participates in the same iconography as that of J.R. Bob Dobbs of the absurdist Church of the SubGenius. I wonder, Master, what could this mean?

    Master Po: Strange are the ways of the cycle of karma, Grasshopper. One man’s inner conflict between id and ego is a visit to a therapist’s office while for his neighbor another’s inner Kathy Griffin. The journey of life takes many turns and winding ways. Is it not good that a man should have companions and helpers? For long is the quest for inner strength in the Tao of virtue, Grasshopper, as the great philosopher Lao-Tzu has explained in the Tao Te Ching.

    Kwai Chang: Forgive me, but I cannot be sure what this means, Master.

    June Cleaver: Ward, I’m worried about this new teacher at school teaching Wally’s Health class. She looks a little racy to me.

    Ward Cleaver: I had a crush on a pretty teacher at school when I was Wally’s age. It’s all perfectly normal. Six months from now we’ll all be laughing about it like it was old news.

    June: Well, don’t you think you should have a talk with Wally?

    Ward: Well, Wally, what’s this I hear about a sexy new teacher at school spouting Frankfurt School theory and passing around bananas in class?

    Miss Weld: I wonder if Wally Cleaver needs help with his homework on the Kinsey Report…

    Uncle Charley O’Casey: It’s all different these days. They have the kids readin’ Freud and Erich Fromm now, Steve.

    Morticia: I thought we were going to read Albert Camus and Edmund Husserl.

    Gomez: We are. But there will be plenty of time to get to Freud and Erich Fromm after that.

  7. The SubGenius feast of the resurrection

    v. Klaatu barada nikto
    r. And also with you

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