Posted by The Bear on Thursday, January 5, 2017
“I love the smell of burning souls in the morning!”
Bishop: Contraception, Communion for Divorced Catholics, and Homosexual Families, A-OK, according to Pope!
According to Lifesite News, an Austrian bishop has publically taught that: ‘remarried’ Catholics now have the ‘blessing of the Pope’ to receive Communion, the use of contraception is ‘a decision of conscience’ for couples, and homosexuals can constitute a ‘family.’
The remarks by Bishop Benno Elbs were reported in the German language newspaper, Die Presse on December 23.
Now, the Bear happens to have a bit of experience with that territory. Ever since the Bear took out local warlord, Grimoald (and his horse: yum), who, with his wife, Biltrudis, had put out a contract on St. Corbinian, Germans have had a pathological fear of Bears. They call any of us who try to enter their country a “Problembär” and execute us on sight, like poor Bruno in 2006 (BLM).
There’s nothing wrong in Germany that a few hundred Bears couldn’t fix. Of course, that would be true at any time during history.
Short of that, Pope Francis’ strategy of “a wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse” is working beautifully. Oh, how he keeps his lily white hands clean! He is the religious equivalent of the arms dealers he is so obsessed with. Perhaps there is a psychological reason for that. It allows his guilty conscience to acknowledge that he is injecting heresy into the Church by providing his Fifth Column with weapons.
Unless Pope Francis sharply and publically condemns Bishop Elbs, we will know that he is not legitimately exercising the duties his office. What does that mean? The Bear isn’t quite sure himself. He supposes everyone must make up their own minds.
But 2017 may be the year when Catholics must choose between their Faith and their Pope, God forbid.
2016: the year Pope Francis finally showed his hand.
Which brings us to the second article from Lifesite, whose headline gave the Bear a good laugh: “2016: the year Pope Francis finally showed his hand.” Um… okay. The writer is probably not responsible for this howler, and the article contains a pretty good bill of particulars relating to the charge that Pope Francis is… well, whatever he is, but who is clearly not a pope we need to still be writing about in 2018.
So, listen very carefully, friends, visitors, and woodland creatures. Suppose some real blogger, say Simcha Fisher, gave an interview to the New York Times, and said, “St. Corbinian’s Bear started out being suspicious about the Pope Francis, but all that’s changed. He is now a firm supporter.”
Unless the Bear corrected Fisher, and wrote a sharply worded letter to the Times denying Fisher’s claim, and went on news shows telling everyone that, no, nothing has changed, he remains alarmed by just about everything Pope Francis does, starting with waking up in the morning, why, people would assume the Bear endorsed the libelous statement.
“I’m going to Hell, but at least Satan will give me a red hat!”
“I need another cap. The last burned up again.”
Here we have a Pope who wants bishops to spread his heresies, because we are in a point in history when most bishops hold to error. And, of course, most people refuse to hold with sound doctrine. Francis knows that all he has to do is throw out the AK-47s and RPGs to his Lutherans in purple, stick his fingers in his ears, and they and his pet bloggers will do the rest.
In fact, things are so bad that unless we get a pope who will vigorously combat heresy, even an orthodox pontificate of smiling and kissing babies will not do us any good. The Bear is not certain what “vigorously combat” means to humans, but he is speaking, as he always does, as a Bear. Rawr.
If there’s anything worse than a heretic, it’s a heretic without – excuse the expression, but I am a Bear, after all – balls. At least Francis’ hero, Martin Luther had the guts to nail his 95 theses onto the church door. Pope Francis smiles and pretends to be a real pope. (Not saying he isn’t technically; not saying he is, either. The Bear has placed him on double secret probation in 2017.). Then he slips his 95 theses , page by page, to quislings, on the sly.
He pretends not to see that dubia, that damns him not for what it says, but for how he ignores it. He pretends not to hear bishops like Elbs, who are not content to go to Hell by themselves, but report down the chain of command to Satan himself, to drag as many people as they can with them, no doubt hoping Satan will at least let them burn in a red hat.
What kind of hat Francis hopes for is hard to say. Perhaps a rainbow one.
[A rainbow tie would suffice.]