New Pope Video: Women Make Poor Employees?

New Pope Video: Women Make Poor Employees?

Posted by St. Corbinian’s Bear at

The Bear is old enough to remember the days when the pope’s intention was some innocent sentiment that you added to your family rosary to get the plenary indulgence, e.g. “that we may crush the Turk at Lepanto.” Now, someone has persuaded Pope Francis that he is not in the public eye enough, so we have these Pope Videos, as they are called.

The first one was for indifferentism, if not syncretism, and we all got pretty worked up about that one. Then they quickly blurred into the bland, formulaic fare we see in this one.

In his review of the last one, the Bear observed, “Like previous Pope videos, it predictably relies on montages of people’s faces, looking directly into the camera lens. It has a synthesized score that makes you expect Enya to start singing the intention.”

It’s true. Positive images accompanied by a soaring synthesized score give way to negative images with a sad score, then the happy music returns for a positive resolution. It is entirely done as a montage, mainly of diverse people looking directly into the camera, with a voiceover by the Pope. He is also briefly shown speaking directly into the camera.

Same with the latest video. And the Bear sees they listened to the Hound at Mahound’s Paradise and stuck a woman of African descent in as “X-ray Woman.” [NOTE: The consensus among woodland creatures is that X-Ray Woman is Indian. Sorry. But all humans look alike to the Bear.]

Whoever is making these videos has technical expertise, but an utter lack of creativity. Granted, a brief institutional video is not the place for avant garde film-making (although the Bear would pay good money for a Lars von Trier Pope Video.) Catholic ephemerists are way more entertaining and thoughtful.

These videos are, frankly, a waste of time and money for his Holiness. Worse, they seem to lack a spiritual dimension. They could be PAC ads. There is Pope Francis, who has out-Dalai Lama-ed the Dalai Lama as Generic Spiritual Leader of the World. The catch is, you have to part with a lot of Catholic capital to attain that celebrity position.

Women Are Smart

The good news is that women are smart. They can make flow charts or something. And read x-rays. When the Pope is talking about motherhood (which the Church rates slightly above prostitution these days) what they actually show is a schoolteacher with a single child in an empty schoolroom. Apparently, motherhood doesn’t figure much into legitimate roles for women. In fact, the one stay-at-home mom fixing lunch for her two kids is — unbelievably — included in the Roll of Oppressed Women.

Bad News Ludes


The video also illustrates that women who are in unfulfilling jobs (like floor-scrubbing slaves and stay-at-home moms) might get better ones if they laid off the Quaaludes. Seriously. Poor Scrubbing Woman, Sandwich Mom, and The Gap Sweatshop Seamstress are eerily moving at half the speed of a normal person. “Iiiim juuust aaaas caaaapabuuuhl aaaas aaaa maaan,” says Sandwich Mom as she tries to focus her sad eyes on the camera lens while slowly spreading something on a slice of bread. They even blink slowly, like sloths or something. The only time the Bear moves that slowly is when he’s been shot in the butt with three tranquilizer darts. (One will do it for a normal Bear, but the Bear has been shot so many times he has built up a tolerance.)

The message the Bear takes away is that unless you want to wait two hours for your Vegemite sandwich, don’t go to anyplace that employs women, although you’ll probably be okay at the hospital or wherever it is they draw flow charts.

This is nonsense, of course. Being married and having employed women, the Bear has found them brisk and efficient workers. The actual intention isn’t bad, it’s just that these snarkworthy videos drag the focus off target and onto Pope Francis. Weird how that keeps happening, isn’t it?

The Bear has an idea. Although he has a lot of fun with these Pope Videos, simply putting text up online is better. After all, they are prayer intentions for the faithful, not Public Service Announcements from the Vatican. The Pope Videos really have nothing to do with prayer, but are modern three act morality plays highlighting current issues and, of course, starring the Pope.

This underscores the problem with Pope Francis. For a man who was introduced as Señor Humble, it’s amazing how much Pope Francis we are subjected to. As with so much in this pontificate, there seems to be a disconnect between the Franciscan Church and genuine Catholic practice.

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3 comments on “New Pope Video: Women Make Poor Employees?

  1. Does This Antidepressant Commercial Remind You of Anything?

    Posted by St. Corbinian’s Bear at

    Same basic format. Unhappy people of various ethnicities. Introduction of the drug. People are happier, the music ends on an upbeat note.

    The only difference between this Cymbalta commercial and the Pope Videos is that there is a warning about the side effects of the drug at the end. Unfortunately, Pope Videos do not have to abide by truth-in-advertising requirements. But if they did, it might go something like this.

    Side effects include: confusion between social justice issues and the Catholic Faith; a growing disinterest in devotions, or actually praying at all; indifferentism; papalotry; nausea; cognitive dissonance; irritability; Marxism; loss of faith; and an unusual interest in Bears. If you experience any of these symptoms, consult your Jesuit or liberal Priest.

  2. Pope Videos Fake

    Posted by St. Corbinian’s Bear at

    Sandwich Mom — Fake.

    All of us have been moved by the soulful eyes of our brothers and sisters looking into the camera as they suffer from various injustices of the modern world. Who can forget Scrubbing Woman, Sandwich Mom and Triangle Lady in the latest video. Or… okay, maybe we can forget the Pope Videos. They do blur into a sameness of people of every age and ethnicity looking into the camera in either sadness or hope, while the same synthesized score plays in the background.

    All the Characters are Fake, Except Pope Francis

    However, with the assistance of reader “laurel,” whose search fu is strong, putting the Bear on the scent, the Bear is prepared to disclose that Sad-Eyed Oppressed Stay-at-Home Sandwich Mom With a Quaalude Habit is not real. Neither is Scrubbing Woman, Soul Patch Donkey Farmer, or Turban Man.

    If you look at the credits on the Pope Video website, you will find “Pope Francis shooting and file footage,” is done by Centro Televisivo Vaticano. In other words, the Pope is the only real person who is actually shot on camera for these productions. All our favorite characters are just actors and actresses.

    That’s right. Your emotions have been cleverly manipulated by cheesy stock footage purchased from some service. Worse, Sandwich Mom probably doesn’t belong to SAG and got paid next to nothing, which is pretty darned ironic in the Bear’s book.

    Were Actors Compensated Fairly?

    We have a right to know whether Scrubbing Woman is being exploited by the Jesuits who are behind these videos. The Bear wants to know: how well were these actors compensated? Did Sandwich Mom, who says “I do my job as well as a man,” make as much as Soul Patch Donkey Farmer?

    When Is a Prayer Intention Not a Prayer Intention?

    This may seem like an obvious and trivial point. However, it is emblematic of the PR pontificate of Francis. When you think about it, juicing up monthly prayer intentions with cleverly produced agitprop turns “intentions” into something other than subjects for prayer. Your emotions are deliberately manipulated to promote an ideological agenda. Pope Francis can’t say “all religions are the same,” but the video sure can. (That video was possibly actually shot for the video, since the Bear doubts any stock footage supplier would have anything that stupid on hand.)

    What does it meant when a prayer intention is actually a political view disguised as an “intention?” When you pray your rosary, are you required to agree about global warming, or the role of women in society? Is it unlikely that the video is going to kick in and complicate your prayers? Just posting them in short text form is infinitely better. If — that is — they are intended as real prayer intentions such as we have always had as Catholics.

    No, this is not a scandal. However, it is a lens through which you can see a hollow pontificate in one, long montage. The Pope Videos are fakes, in more ways than one. The only real person in the Pope Videos is the Pope. Or is he, too, playing a part in his personal telenovela?

  3. Supremely Politically Correct: Pope Francis’ May Prayer Intention

    Written by Michael Matt | Editor


    The irony here is rich. The Modernist heroes of Pope Francis crushed the old Catholic model of motherhood, toppled the thrones on which powerful women ruled over Christendom, declared war on true feminity, even forced wives and mothers to dress like their husbands and fathers.

    They exiled the mothers from their own homes, sexualized the daughters, made fops of the men, emasculated the priesthood, homosexulized the Mass. And now that everything is destroyed, here they come on their white horses. Did you ever think you’d live to see the day when popes would become champions of Steinem, Fonda and Friedan?

    Never mind that the message is so sickeningly politically correct nobody cares. They can get this kind of thing on CNN every night and The View every afternoon.

    A mere 7000 views on YouTube! Clearly, nobody cares.

    If Pope Francis really wants to do something for women, he should denounce the very idea that divorced and remarried Catholics–public adulterers who have abandoned their wives!–can return to the sacramental life of the Church. He should hold high the model of the Virgin Mary, Queen of heaven and earth. He should consecrate Russia to her Immaculate Heart. He should advocate for the safe return of wives and mothers to the exalted pedestals Christendom built for them a thousand years ago (so despised by the modern feminists). He should turn away from the fanatical Modernist ideology that is destroying the Church, undermining the family, eradicating Christian marriage and leaving women vulnerable to a vicious world where morality is no more, marriage contracts mean nothing, sex means everything and women are left to fend for themselves without children, husband, or God. And this wretched condition they would call emancipation?

    Here is an example of what we’ve lost–images of the last Catholic queen of the old Holy Roman Empire. Empress Zita was the model of the powerful Christian woman, wife and mother. She represents everything the Modernists hate, and no cheesy video from the new & improved Church of Vatican II can change that. Note the dress, the dominant femininity, the grace, the humility, the awesome maternity, the importance placed on God and family, women as women, men as men, so much beauty, truth and goodness–all gone with the wind of a crushing and unyielding Modernism:

    By the way, it looks like the Pope’s pectoral cross is once again covered up throughout his entire video. I wonder why…

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