Czech This Out! JP II Lookalike Busted In Sunny Nova Roma!


But a performer who has been entertaining tourists in Rome in recent weeks with his striking resemblance to the former Polish Pope has been arrested and fined in an unusual case of lese majeste.

The performer, who is from Slovakia, recently posed for photographs for The Daily Telegraph in return for a few coins tossed into a silver platter.

“John Paul was a great Pope. Lots of people ask to have their photograph taken with me,” he said.

Sitting on a chair and smiling beatifically while reading a Bible, he had staked out a spot on the Via dei Fori Imperiali, the broad avenue that leads up to the Colosseum.

Thronged with tourists at all times of the day, it appeared to be a lucrative patch, with visitors stopping and staring in surprise at his similarity to the popular Polish pontiff.


But his days as a papal impersonator came to an end on Friday when police detained him and told him he will be hit with a fine of between 154 and 929 euros, depending on a court’s decision.

“The problem was that he looked a lot like Karol Wojtyla. He was detained for usurpation of title which is a misdemeanour,” a police spokeswoman told AFP.

“The cassock he was wearing has been confiscated,” she said, adding that the action had been taken after an anonymous complaint.

The Slovak was one of several buskers and street artists who try their luck along the street, from bands of Peruvian pipers to fake centurions and legionaries, and performers who stand stock still dressed as the Statue of Liberty.

“If he had been dressed like Tutankhamen nothing would have happened,” another police officer said.

Local media had joked that the fake Pope had brought the number of pontiffs in Rome to three, along with Pope Francis and his predecessor Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, who is living out his retirement in a former convent in the Vatican.

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6 comments on “Czech This Out! JP II Lookalike Busted In Sunny Nova Roma!

  1. chris torey on said:

    This fake pope got busted because he could not give the cops a masonic grip.

  2. National Catholic Distorter: Father Sarducci?

    Father Sarducci: More than likely, Jay Leno will get hold of him.
    Or they will use him in The Naked Gun movies.
    Is better than-a Jon Voight or Albert Finney, no?
    But-a take it-a from me, you need to get an agent, yeah, because, like, they will
    try to pay you less unless-a you negotiate, like, a real good contract.

    But maybe he would like to think-a about becoming a real priest!
    We have-a some specials on theology courses at the Gregorian this week,
    the Mother’s Day sale, like some really good deals. Call me.

  3. Kirk: Mister Spock, isn’t this similar to the two Darrins in Bewitched?

    Spock: It is similar to the ontological problem of the two Darrins, however,
    when Dick Sargent replaced Dick York as Darrin Stephens in the middle of the 1969 season without an explanation
    as to why Samantha Stephens was now married to a different man this led to widespread confusion, Angst, and malaise.

    Viewing audiences of Bewitched had become familiar with Dick York as Darrin Stephens creating an A=A logical predication and ontological relation
    according to Aristotle’s Law of Identity and the presentation of a new Darrin tested their logical aptitude and perception of reality at the ontological level,
    an exercise of reason for which the American educational system generally does not prepare its graduates, Captain.
    This is due to the fact that logic and philosophy are not generally taught and certainly not taught properly within that educational system, Captain, in keeping with the stated Deweyite and Frankfurt School goals of the NEA.

    Kirk: That’s fascinating, Mister Spock.

    Spock: Catholic pilgrims, on the other hand, are aware that the Polish
    bishop and phenomenologist philosopher Karol Wojtyla was Pope John Paul II.
    They also had become used to accepting this as an A=A logical predication and ontological relation according to Aristotle’s Law of Identity.
    The difference, however, is that Karol Wojtyla did in fact become Pope John Paul II through the papal election of the 1978 conclave.
    Dick York was merely an actor playing the role of Darrin Stephens.
    Likewise, the Slovakian papal impersonator on the Via dei Fori Imperiali, dressed as Pope John Paul II, is merely a street actor, Captain.

    Spock: We must review the logical rule which applies here, Captain.
    You will find that Aristotle’s Law of Identity is most useful in just such situations.
    “In logic, the law of identity is the first of the three classical laws of thought. It states that: “each thing is the same with itself and different from another”: “A is A and not ~A”. By this it is meant that each thing (be it a universal or a particular) comprises it own unique set of characteristic qualities or features, which the ancient Greeks called its essence. Consequently, things that have the same essence are the same thing, while things that have different essences are different things. In its symbolic representation:(“A is A”), the first element of the proposition represents the subject (thing) and the second element, the predicate (its essence), with the copula “is” signifying the relation of “identity”.”

    Kirk: And this helps with resolving the ontological problem of the two Darrins?
    What about the duplicate Mrs. Kravitz?

    Spock: Well, technically, Captain, Darrin Stephens is a fictitious character and, hence, a type of ens rationis,
    but that will take us to the metaphysics of Francis Suárez and 16th-century scholasticism which we will address at a later time.
    The two actresses who played the neurotic busybody Mrs. Kravitz pose a similar
    ontological problem as the two Darrins which we should take up in our discussion
    of Plato’s Theory of Ideas.

    Kirk: Plato’s Theory of Ideas?

    Robin: Holy Paradigm, Batman!
    It’s a good thing I’ve been keeping up on my studies of Francis Macdonald Cornford’s From Religion to Philosophy: A Study in the Origins of Western Speculation.
    Batman: Indeed, Robin! But you need to keep up with the readings from Alasdair MacIntyre and Father Copleston in your homework from Fordham
    if you are to prepare that paper on Aristotle and first principles in ethical theory.
    Robin: Gosh, I know it, Batman.

    Kirk: But shouldn’t phenomenology be involved in the second Pope John Paul II?
    It seems that we have three popes now:
    Pope Francis, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI, and this Slovakian character on the Via dei Fori Imperiali.

    Spock: Three popes? That would be an entirely different ontological problem, Captain.

    Emily: That’s a pretty weird dream, Bob.
    But why was Robin working on homework from Fordham?
    I thought they filmed that show in Los Angeles. Shouldn’t he have been at Loyola Marymount?
    Bob: It’s just a dream, Emily. But everybody knows that Gotham City is supposed to be New York.

  4. Kirk: But, Mister Spock, with all of these doubles and duplications,
    doesn’t this get confusing for those who are not masters of Aristotelian and Vulcan logic?

    Spock: Affirmative, Captain.
    But there is one other problem we should address.

    Kirk: Which one is that, Mister Spock?

    Spock: The Kermit GosnellAdmiral Ackbar Separated at Birth Mystery, Captain.

    Kirk: Set phasers for stun! Battle Stations, Mister Sulu!

  5. Kirk: Well, Mister Spock, now that you’ve pointed this out, are there
    any other doubles or separated at birth duplicates that we should be informed about?

    Spock:Affirmative, Captain.

    Former Senator Fred Thompson and Vigo Von Homburg Deutschendorf from “Ghostbusters II”.

    And John Kerry and Herman Munster.

    Elvis’ blonde hillbilly cousin Jodie Tatum in Kissin’ Cousins, Bill Clinton and
    STASI Manchurian Candidate Max Zorin in A View to a Kill (played by Christopher Walken).

    Kirk: But I thought A View to a Kill was released in 1985.
    How did they know how to portray Bill Clinton as a Bond villain in 1985, seven years before he was elected?
    You’re sure it’s not just a coincidence?

    Spock: I will check the ship’s computer now to calculate the probabilities, Captain.
    Since we cannot be certain of the paternity or lineage of the former president,
    it is entirely possible that he and Elvis are kissing cousins.

  6. Star Trek Into Darkness
    “In 2009, Kirk and Spock were always at one another’s throats; here, although the tensions continue, the beginnings of a friendship are forming. When they’re at loggerheads now, it isn’t because they dislike each other, but because they have different approaches to moral questions such as when one can or must violate rules or orders to do the right thing — and even when their answers differ, they’re both morally serious about the questions.”

    Captain Kirk: Mister Spock, do we seem at loggerheads?
    I wasn’t aware that we have different approaches to moral questions.

    Spock: We may also have different Enneagram numbers, Captain.
    We should, however, make a distinction between our relationship and that portrayed in the new film.
    As a work of fiction Star Trek Into Darkness takes certain liberties which we should analyze.

    Kirk: I hadn’t thought of that, Mister Spock. Analyze.

    Spock: It is logical, Captain. We could review Aristotle’s Law of Identity as it applies to real individuals and
    the portrayal of them by actors or imitators, as we saw with the ontological problem of the two Darrins on Bewitched.

    Kirk: Alright, Mister Spock. As long as we don’t take too much time on genus and species and the question of essence
    in relation to Plato’s Theory of Ideas and the problem of universals between the 12th and 13th centuries again.
    I have to keep racing back to my quarters to check my logic textbook and it gets confusing, distracting me from duties as a Starfleet captain.
    I’m also not sure that NBC primetime audiences are ready for long discussions
    of 13th-, 14th- and 15th-century scholasticism

    Spock: Logic can be a discipline which sharpens the mind, Jim.
    But we were talking about having different approaches to moral questions.

    Kirk: Bones, how’s the situation with Sulu working out?

    McCoy: I’m just a country doctor, Jim!
    We didn’t study Freud in medical school!

    Kirk: Alright, Mister Spock, tell me about different approaches to moral questions.
    Don’t hold anything back.
    Let’s start with how Situation Ethics challenges our metanarrative from the Enlightenment
    and give me your best Frankfurt School analysis of my idealization of Abraham Lincoln.

    Spock: If you think you are up to it, Captain.
    However, I should warn you, it may call into question the myth of science of the ship’s mission.

    Kirk: I can handle it.
    That’s why they have me investigating the paranormal on the SyFy channel.

    Spock: On that we may agree, Captain.
    I must confess I did notice some similarities to In Search Of…
    We could apply logic to the case of two actors from the same NBC series pursuing
    similar topics while portraying very different personalities, but that will take us back to the questions of genus, species, and essence
    in formal predication, as well as Aristotle’s Law of Identity, if I may just review now….

    Uhura: But, Captain, I wanted to hear about your idealization of Abraham Lincoln!

    Kirk: She’s right, Spock.
    We should address the foundations of my approach to moral questions first, including their origins in Gene Roddenberry’s mythology
    and fixation on themes of democracy, egalitarianism, and modern scientism,
    and then return to your history of Western and Aristotelian logic.
    Spock: I have no objections.

    Kirk Captain’s Log stardate 5906.4, we have arrived at the volcanic planet of Excalbia to conduct a geological survey. Sensors have curiously picked up the presence of carbon-based life on the surface which Science Officer Spock deems impossible owing to Excalbia’s extreme volcanism.
    Our sensor scans have received a friendly greeting.

    The ship’s crew is surprised as the image of a seated Abraham Lincoln appears drifting toward the Enterprise on the ship’s viewscreen. Spock indicates that the figure cannot possibly be the real historic president, and that whoever is on the planet demonstrates the advanced ability to read minds and manipulate matter.
    Regardless of the true identity of the being, I consider Lincoln to be my personal hero and extend full presidential honors to the former leader of the United States as he transports aboard the ship.

    The president appears to be human, claiming to be “all too human”, alluding to Nietzsche who famously treated the topic of good and evil. Lincoln has no knowledge of technology past the 19th century, but he is curiously (and inconsistently) familiar with the Vulcan philosophy of Nom (meaning “all”). Mister Spock takes mental notes of these points of philosophy and stares ahead emotionless.

    Lieutenant Uhura appears as mesmerized as myself to be in the presence of the former U.S. president.
    Lincoln invites Spock and myself to accompany him down to the planet. I happily accept despite objections from Chief Medical Officer Dr. McCoy and Mister Scott. Lincoln, or the being who appears to be Lincoln, reassures them by showing a patch of newly created “Earthlike” vegetation on the planet and informing them that they will be perfectly safe.
    The crew is tired and confused, but there are no signs of Chicken McNuggets, Bob’s Big Boy, or Big Mac venues and the crew’s scanners cannot detect any 7-Elevens on this unexplored planet, although despite Mayor Bloomberg’s warnings, I could really go for a Big Gulp now and Spock looks like he’s in the mood for Twinkies or a Snickers bar. Doctor McCoy seems more like the microwave popcorn type, and Scotty will need some hard stuff pretty soon, but it’s unclear whether President Lincoln has thought ahead to bring General Grant’s reserve supplies of Kentucky Bourbon all the way from earth or not….
    I assume Mister Spock is analyzing the ethical principles of The Gettysburg Address, as we prepare to figure out exactly what is going on here.
    Whether Mister Spock’s logic will be of service to us before the day’s end, we are about to find out…

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