Interview with Pope, before he was Pope

I assure you, that taking the time to read this interview by Chris Mathews of the then soon to be Pope, will make your day – religiously and secularly.

Subject: NEW POPE ,YOU DECIDE

A SOCIALIST CATHOLIC REPORTER, CHRIS MATHEWS, CHALLENGES NEW POPE AND GET HIS HEAD HANDED TO HIM ON A PLATTER. LONG READ–WELL WORTH YOUR TIME

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO BE A CATHOLIC TO APPRECIATE THIS INTERVIEW WITH THE NEW POPE.

The following is a transcript of an interview between CHRIS MATHEWS, MSNBC American journalist and then Cardinal Bergolio. It is clear why the interview was never broadcast. This Pope is a breath of fresh air; a very enlightening, clear understanding of social justice. It is clear that Matthews never understood or learned a thing.

CAMERA ON / BEGIN TRANSCRIPT

REPORTER: Welcome Cardinal.

BERGOGLIO: Thank you. Happy to speak with you.

REPORTER: Well, let me get into it directly. Last conclave, you were almost elected Pope. Can this happen again?

BERGOGLIO: What? That I will almost be the Pope, again?

REPORTER: No. Will you be the next Pope?

BERGOGLIO: Friend, I’m only jesting with you. I understand the question. I will not be the next Pope

REPORTER: Why not?

BERGOGLIO: I chose not to. God has someone else in mind I’m certain.

REPORTER: But you would take the job if it were offered.

BERGOGLIO: I think not.

REPORTER: Why not.

BERGOGLIO: I believe I’m too embroiled in the secular fiasco. It is a spiritual job, and I’m a soldier. Look at the nature of power. In Europe first and now in America, elected men have taken it upon themselves to indebt their people to create an atmosphere of dependency. And why? For their own selfish need to increase their own personal power. I’ve been a keen observer of the effect this has on the people, especially the poor. They are very good at creating poverty where there is no reason to explain it. My job is try to alleviate poverty and if that means to oppose the cause then I will not be Pope.

REPORTER: But you are worried you would be a spend thrift pope?

BERGOGLIO: Friend. Where did you go to school?

REPORTER: La Salle College High School in Pennsylvania and.

BERGOGLIO: And after that?

REPORTER: College of the Holy Cross.

BERGOGLIO: They told me you were Catholic. Once elected the Pope is by virtue of the promise of Jesus to Peter, the Pope is preserved from the possibility of error. God would change any spend thrift politician into a responsible Pope. I’m just saying I’m not that man.

REPORTER: So what is your job?

BERGOGLIO: My job is to ask you? Why are men creating poverty?

REPORTER: What do you mean?

BERGOGLIO: I mean that poverty is part of the natural condition and that is bad enough. But my task is to prevent the aggravation of this condition. The ideology that adds to the poverty must be denounced. I have and this is the reason I will not be Pope. I have a saying for myself, no more poverty than God originally intended in the fall from Grace?

REPORTER: Oh.

BERGOGLIO: It is a spiritual choice, and I’m a political person. I’m sorry. I know you will make more money from this interview if I’m Pope. Or want to be Pope. But I’m sorry. I can’t help you. God has already chosen someone anyway. Right? You learned this in school?

REPORTER: Yes. Well? Where are you on the issues that matter most, issues about contraception, women priests?

BERGOGLIO: This might be a surprise to you, but I am Catholic. We are Catholic. It isn’t an issue and for you to pretend that it is being debated goes against God.

REPORTER: If you were Pope, then you would not change anything.

BERGOGLIO: Certainly God would direct the new Pope to have more compassion for these newly created poor. And if there is any social justice in the Church, the new Pope would have a stern word for the creators of the new situation.

REPORTER: But you are staunchly orthodox on the issues of abortion, contraception, and same-sex marriage.

BERGOGLIO: I am catholic.

REPORTER: You were punished for opposed same-sex marriage in Argentina. You opposed free contraception and the government exiled you. What do you have to say about that?

BERGOGLIO: I am catholic.

REPORTER: In the secular world, as you say, you follow the conservative line. You oppose, uh, same-sex marriages, very popular with young people. You are conservative on birth control. Won’t that be the doom of the Church, alienating young people who support reality based faith?

BERGOGLIO: Since God created the world, he also created reality. You seem to be arguing that a man can’t be Catholic in reality. Son, you are a Catholic?

REPORTER: Yes, of course. I meant no disrespect

BERGOGLIO: You don’t have to worry about offending me.

REPORTER: Okay, good. Can a, uh, Pope even be elected if he is pro-choice or pro-love? I mean isn’t the election sort of fixed in favor of anti-abortion and anti-gay marriage?

BERGOGLIO: Yes, the election is fixed by God.

REPORTER: Very witty.

BERGOGLIO: Well, you did ask.

REPORTER: It is being reported in America that you are against marriage equality. Is that why you feel that you can’t be Pope?

BERGOGLIO: God chooses the Pope, and God also made men and women different.

REPORTER: But you are… a conservative and oppose abortion!

BERGOGLIO: Friend the expression on your face gives you away.

REPORTER: I’m sorry, I’m just trying to do my job.

BERGOGLIO: And what job is that?

REPORTER: I’ve been sent to interview eight men in line for the papacy.

BERGOGLIO: And I guarantee you that they all oppose abortion. So?

REPORTER: But?

BERGOGLIO: So, you feel like you need to alienate the eight from the flock?

REPORTER: That isn’t it. How can the church attract young people when it is opposed to abortion and contraception?

BERGOGLIO: Young people are just as attracted to the truth as they are convenience and expediency. So we will call it a draw.

REPORTER: Doesn’t the church need to modernize?

BERGOGLIO: Finally, I’ve met someone who will advocate publicly painting over the Sistine Chapel with one of the contemporary street artists. Are you sure you support this and in public?

REPORTER: What?

BERGOGLIO: Forgive me, I was rude.

REPORTER: Won’t the new pope, don’t these cardinals realize what they’ve gotta do if they want to attract young people to the church?

BERGOGLIO: I am a cardinal.

REPORTER: Won’t the new pope, don’t you and the other cardinals realize what they must do if they want to attract young people to the church?

BERGOGLIO: I’ve explained the mysteries of the atom to rural young people and also I’ve explained the Grace of God. And you know what? They can understand both perfectly well. Frankly, I have more trouble with adults understanding both.

REPORTER: But they have done focus groups; if you want to spread your message you can’t have this position that’s anti-gay marriage and anti-contraception.

BERGOGLIO: And you treat the church as a political institution.

REPORTER: So we were not gonna see any kind of change when it comes to things that matter like abortion or gay marriage?

BERGOGLIO: All eight of the men you will be talking to are Catholic.

REPORTER: Okay, I understand. Let’s talk about your controversial stand on poverty.

BERGOGLIO: You want it to be controversial?

REPORTER: But don’t you blame various governments around the world for poverty?

BERGOGLIO: Some. Yes.

REPORTER: But you refuse to blame corporations for their role.

BERGOGLIO: Okay, they also told me you have a degree in economics. No buyer, or seller either, enters into any exchange against his will. It is the nature of the economy. Man is frail, and he makes mistakes and sometimes is greedy and they enter into exchanges that don’t help them. Sometimes they become poor, but they made choices. There is nothing the Church can do except try to educate people to become good consumers. Chiefly, for me, it is an education solution on that side. And the Church has more schools around the globe than any other faith. I say teach the people to save their souls, and also teach them how not to become poor. And now not to allow the government to trick them into poverty.

REPORTER: And you blame government.

BERGOGLIO: No, I blame the self-serving politicians.

REPORTER: So your solution to poverty is to change the nature of politics?

BERGOGLIO: Please feel free to broadcast this; I don’t want to be pope. Friend, you are a socialist and your friends are socialists. And you are the reason for 70 years of misery in Russia and Europe now is seizing in pain from your policies. You believe in the redistribution of wealth and it makes entire populations poor. You want to nationalize everything and bring every human endeavor under your control. You destroy a man’s incentive to take care of his very own family, a crime against nature and nature’s God. You want social control over populations and incrementally you are making everything against the law. Together this ideology creates more poverty today than all the corporations you vilify have in the history of man.

REPORTER: I’ve never heard such from a Cardinal. I’m not sure if you are here to help yourself or disqualify yourself.

BERGOGLIO: Please air this interview. People being dominated by socialists need to know we don’t all have to be poor. Some poverty is part of our being cast out of the Garden of Eden. But look at the empire of dependency created by Hugo Chavez. Promising them, tricking them into worship of government and his very own person. Giving them fish but not allowing them to fish. If a fisherman does develop a talent today in Latin America; he is castigated and his catch stolen by the socialists. He stops?

REPORTER: You would be the first pope from the Americas.

BERGOGLIO: He stops fishing. I will not be pope, but yes I am from Argentina.

REPORTER: And you didn’t want to be pope?

BERGOGLIO: God didn’t want me to be pope.

REPORTER: Perhaps he changed his mind.

BERGOGLIO: Ludicrous.

REPORTER: Okay, I’m sorry. I feel like we are getting off on the wrong path. I’m sorry.

BERGOGLIO: Yes, let’s be productive.

REPORTER: You are a classic conservative Catholic theologian?

BERGOGLIO: Of course there’s politics clearly in the Curia throughout the Vatican, but in terms of church teaching, it’s not a political institution. It’s religious.

REPORTER: I heard people, in fact, media people, “Is this cardinal, is he a liberal? Is he a conservative?”

BERGOGLIO: Tell them please, He’s a Catholic. It’s no more complicated than that. Catholicism is what it is. You don’t have to believe it; you may not. You don’t have to follow it; you may not go to Mass. But it’s not up to you to modernize us.

REPORTER: You see no room for reform?

BERGOGLIO: It’s not up to any religion, although some do this, ’cause they want the money. They want the membership. But the Catholic Church doesn’t do it. It’s not up to them to bend and shape and mold itself to accommodate the shrinking depravity of a worldwide culture. It’s to provide the exact opposite. It’s to provide a beacon out of depravity, socialism and sin, among other things.

REPORTER: If pope you would be bad news for the left.

BERGOGLIO: I won’t be pope. But I am opposed to abortion. I’m opposed to euthanasia. The pro-choice movement is a culture of death. I oppose the demonic same-sex marriage. I oppose gay adoption on the grounds that it is discriminatory to the child. I was exiled by the Cristina Kirchner government, but I hold no grudge. How is this bad news?

REPORTER: John Paul II rescued you?

BERGOGLIO: He made me the archbishop of Buenos Aires. Yes.

REPORTER: And so you feel like you owe the Right some sort of repayment?

BERGOGLIO: There are many values and many types of people. Perhaps it is my interest in mathematics, but I’m the type of human who is interested most in the truth. God gave me a healthy love for the truth. Loyalty is only a virtue if in support of the truth or another important value.

REPORTER: Cristina Kirchner said you held a grudge.

BERGOGLIO: Funny I’ve never spoken her name. Not once. And it is a battle of ideas not a battle of two or more people. I’m only concerned with ideas.

REPORTER: She said you refused to speak up for civil rights violations.

BERGOGLIO: As a spiritual leader, I opposed cultural modernization, and so I became a political enemy. I understand politics as well as I do mathematics.

REPORTER: And the Jesuits, they were eager to cast you out, which they did.

BERGOGLIO: So you are implying that I’m a vengeful priest?

REPORTER: Do you feel that you need to erase the progress recently made in Latin America?

BERGOGLIO: I say poverty. You say progress.

REPORTER: Let’s talk about poverty.

BERGOGLIO: Sure, there is voluntary poverty that is virtuous. Many understood the nobility of making themselves independent of the fleeting things of earth. They are distractions from our pursuit of the truth. I have no problem with this. I only oppose involuntary poverty.

REPORTER: That is what I thought you would say.

BERGOGLIO: Why?

REPORTER: Because you are a capitalist right?

BERGOGLIO: Yes, I think capital is needed to build a factory, a parochial school, or a church or hospital, all. Do you oppose factories or churches or hospitals?

REPORTER: Of course not, but don’t you think the capital is sucked out of peoples hands by greedy business types to pay for these factories?

BERGOGLIO: No, I think people agree, through their economic choices, that some of their money goes to build these. Capital building should be voluntary. Only when the politician confiscates their wealth to build government factories, government schools, government hospitals; only then do the people not agree. Money given voluntarily is legitimate to build with. Money coerced from the people is not legitimate to build with, because it isn’t given voluntarily.

REPORTER: You are opposed to all government?

BERGOGLIO: No of course not. But it isn’t the seat of wisdom in any society I’ve seen in my life. The best government was created by the Americans, in which they admitted that people are endowed by their creator and most of the administration of society was left to the relationship between God and man. However, slowly that has been eroded by the atheists on the left who would replace man’s relationship with God with a new relationship with an opportunist like Hugo Chavez.

REPORTER: I just found it fascinating that you were willing to stand up to an entire government in Argentina. You where cast aside. Didn’t you care about your career?

BERGOGLIO: Yes, there are people who cave to worldly authority. Even priests.

REPORTER: But you didn’t?

BERGOGLIO: No, I changed nothing. How did I have the power to change anything in church teaching? My opinion? The democrats, seeking votes, only wanted me to change my opinion and legitimize their decadence. I did not, as evidenced by the fact that I was teaching high school math in small isolated town.

REPORTER: I’m sorry that happened to you.

BERGOGLIO: Why don’t you feel for others oppressed for their interest in freedom.

REPORTER: Freedom isn’t punished anywhere, is it?

BERGOGLIO: Certainly it is.

REPORTER: In Latin America?

BERGOGLIO: I’m afraid Latin America is lost. The people of the entire area are controlled by a bloc of militant socialist regimes in the region, most prominently Venezuela, Ecuador, Bolivia and Nicaragua. They have a gun pointed at their head. So their heart is now captured. Who will save them at this point?

REPORTER: So the game is over. Checkmate?

BERGOGLIO: Friend, I’ve been studying America this month before the Pope chose to resign. You must not have fear at speaking the truth. It is for the salvation of souls and the recovery of Thomas Jefferson’s people. America must not fall to the new painted communism. Even the low information voters don’t want America to be sold into slavery. I pray they cast out the money changers in their government! What manner of government is there that condones sin? Abomination upon abomination–giving monies for the murder of children, giving monies for the murder of the elderly! You are an American. Your government, My child, has been infiltrated by men of sin.

REPORTER: These are pretty radical ideas.

BERGOGLIO: No. Perhaps reactionary. Radical means something different. But a very long time ago, Khrushchev warned that we cannot expect Americans to fly from capitalism to communism, but we can assist their elected leaders in giving Americans small injections of socialism until they suddenly awake to find out they have Communism. This is what is happening now in an ancient bastion of freedom. How can America save Latin America when they are slaves to the government themselves?

REPORTER: I’m having a hard time digesting most of this.

BERGOGLIO: The truth can be painful. You look angry; do you want to stop or ask a question? But you have created a new type of state, the so-called welfare state. This has happened in order to respond to the needs of the politically created poor. However, intervening directly is depriving the original society of its responsibility. Families escape responsibility in the welfare state. And churches even escape responsibility. People stop giving to charity and see every poor person as the government’s problem. I am a Catholic priest and there are no poor for me to take care of, they are made permanently poor and the property of the politicians.

REPORTER: I’m not sure this interview is going to work.

BERGOGLIO: You asked and now you will listen, my son. The social assistance state leads to a loss of human energies and an inordinate increase of public agencies, which are dominated more by bureaucratic thinking than by real concern for helping people. Needs are best understood and satisfied by people who are closest to them who act as neighbors and parish members to those in need. It should be added that certain kinds of demands often call for a response which is not simply material but which is capable of perceiving the deeper human need. This is not to mention the welfare states excesses and abuses.

REPORTER: I think we are done.

BERGOGLIO: Wait. If I speak on the ordination of women, on celibacy, on divorce, will you air this interview and my message?

REPORTER: No, we are done.

BERGOGLIO: Partially what irritates me to the core is the media’s inability to look at anything without looking into the cause of the various problems. People are made poor so they will vote for the very candidates that made them poor.

REPORTER: Have a nice day and thanks for your time.

CAMERA OFF / END TRANSCRIPT

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18 Comments to “Interview with Pope, before he was Pope”

  1. gheg says:

    What’s the source for this interview? I find it hard to believe.

    • Tom says:

      [Damian Thompson's introductory remarks and updates to his article about the interview. Also, it is very unusual to have only a transcript and no video of an interview never televised, no transcripts or videos of the other seven alleged Chris Matthews' interviews with papabili, and no mention of any interview with Bergoglio or any other cardinal in the Chris Matthews' program on the election of Pope Francis--other than guest commentator George Weigel mentioning that he interviewed then-Cardinal Bergoglio in Buenos Aires in May 2012 (see the video in my comment below). Next, as Pope Francis has said, he does not speak or pronounce English well because of his tone-deafness (or possibly from little use of the language), but his English in the interview is fluent and idiomatic, and I do not think that Christ Matthews is fluent in Spanish or used a translator for the alleged interview). Finally, the form of the transcript does not follow that for other Chris Matthews' programs (see the transcript in my comment below) for example, "CAMERA ON / BEGIN TRANSCRIPT" rather than "THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED" and addressing the host as "REPORTER" rather than "CHRIS MATTHEWS" or "MATTHEWS"]

      From: blogs.telegraph.co.uk/news/damianthompson/100208720/did-pope-francis-really-say-that-socialism-causes-misery-and-that-america-is-heading-towards-a-form-of-communism/

      Uh? Salford diocesan press officer, Fr John Flynn (@jcaflynn), now says on Twitter that he took down the interview because he couldn’t verify it – but “I am sure it is real”. With respect, I don’t see how he can be sure, since by his own admission he hasn’t checked the authenticity of the transcript – and the clues that it’s bogus are compelling.

      Latest: The Diocese of Salford link to the interview is now dead. So I think we have our answer. The “interview” has almost certainly been concocted to appeal to a certain sort of conservative American. It’s meticulously done, so it did take me a few minutes to be sure it was fake. I’m leaving it online because the hoax is interesting in itself. I mean, why bother?

      Update: Here’s why on reflection I think this interview has to be fake. The journalist who conducted it would have the most incredible world exclusive on his hands. It would have been out there on the day of Francis’s election, not dribbled to an obscure English diocesan website with no identifying details.

      • mardancy@q.com says:

        I do not believe in putting anything out that is not true or cannot be proven to be true. I believe that the public needs to know the real truth about any interview that goes out. I had doubts because of the good english involved when I knew the pope probably did not speak english or certainly not with the fluency displayed in the transcript. I listen to Chris Matthews a lot and I never heard of this interview. If people cannot prove that an interview is true, then I think it is wrong to print it out. Chris Matthews should be asked about this interview and given the chance to refute it and show displeasure that something would be printed without his permission when it is about his being involved as a reporter.

        • Tom says:

          … unless Chris Matthews conducted the interview in Spanish and translated it into idiomatic English. He shows his fluency in Spanish in the following video clip about New York Mayor Bloomberg’s Spanish …

          null

    • Tim says:

      A friend of mine sent it to me….I found it interesting….hoax or not.

    • juan says:

      Tim. I like the Pope very much but this interview doesn t sound like him AT ALL. Is easy to see that is a typical stupid invention of someone who use the Popes name to say something he himself would like to say to someone. The Pope is wonderful as he is so he doesn t need people inventing interviews for him. This kind of stupidities do not help the Pope at all, so if you like the Pope, do not post this kind of things anymore PLS!!!

      • Tim says:

        Juan,
        You obviously need a job or a hobby or a prayer life or something. This was 3 months ago and you apparently are still consumed by it….move on as they say….old news. I urge you to discuss this with your spiritual father as I know I can be of no help to you. I didn’t “invent” this, I simply passed it along in an informal manner for general interest. Have you scheduled my trial yet? Do I need a canon lawyer? Are you inferring that I “dislike” the pope? It is hard to like or dislike one whom you have never met. I love him as my supreme pastor and pray for him daily. I urge you to get the help that you so obviously need.

        God Bless you Juan,
        Tim

  2. Tom says:

    [Matthews' "real take" on Pope Francis shortly after he was elected pope (complete video of the program and introductory part of the transcript)]

    HARDBALL
    March 13, 2013
    www.nbcnews.com/id/51176775/ns/msnbc-hardball_with_chris_matthews/t/hardball-chris-matthews-wednesday-march-th/

    Visit NBCNews.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

    THIS IS A RUSH TRANSCRIPT. THIS COPY MAY NOT BE IN ITS FINAL FORM AND MAY BE UPDATED.

    CHRIS MATTHEWS, MSNBC HOST: Hope for the pope.

    Let`s play HARDBALL.

    Good evening. I`m Chris Matthews in Washington.

    “Let Me Start” tonight with the election of a new pope. It brings with it
    a great hope, and not just for Catholics. It promises a progressive church
    on economic justice. Francis I is a Jesuit from Argentina. He`s known for
    throwing off the trappings and the perks of power, living in a small
    apartment, taking the bus to work.
    .
    The new pope has said things about capitalism and its failure to deliver
    economic justice that could drive the right wing nuts. He`s the living
    illustration for what I`ve learned of the belief that free markets need to
    be offset by an active social justice toward those in need.

    This is the Catholic church that looks out for the poor, that distances
    itself from power and wealth, that is skeptical that capitalism will raise
    all, that the poor can count on the wealth of the rich to trickle down to
    the people living in the barrios and the favelas.

    So big surprise in Rome tonight, the cardinals picked a Jesuit, someone
    from the Americas, someone who identifies with the poor and those who don`t
    get a break from sharp-elbowed capitalism. I find this fascinating and
    enormously surprising. Francis I — I like him already.

  3. Cyprian says:

    CHRIS MATHEWS, MSNBC American journalist

    Anything but a journalist.

  4. HowlinglyAbsurd says:


    National Catholic Distorter: Father Sarducci?

    Father Sarducci, S.J.: Well, it is obviously fake because in the text of the interview Cardinal Bergoglio falls for the canard
    that having attended the College of the Holy Cross is proof of being a Catholic, when any experienced Jesuit would not fall for that.
    But I have also heard that Joel Osteen converted to Catholicism because of Cardinal Bergoglio’s critique of socialism.
    So you will have to decide which is right.
    Credible sources over at the Gregorian have informed me on pretty good authority that Batman and Robin are in Rome working on the case now.

    Batman: If we keep running, we can burn off the carbs from all of this Italian pasta
    and escape Mayor Bloomberg’s wrath when we return to Gotham City, Robin.
    Robin: Good thinking, Batman.


    Robin: Do you think anyone has noticed that the new pope is really Mayor Rudy Giuliani in a pope costume, Batman?
    Batman: Obviously your youthful curiosity is why they call you the Boy Wonder, Robin.
    No doubt those rapscallion robbers of redaction and relativism, the Joker and the Riddler, are involved in this reckless curial prank,
    rear-ending the reactionary faction in the curia with redacted interviews and a doppelgänger conclave of reactionary commentary for neocon rebuttal.

    Robin: The Joker jinxing social justice!
    Batman: Exactly, Robin!
    Robin: Holy Friedrich von Hayek, Batman!
    A Pope from the Mont Pelerin Society!
    Batman: Or so they want us to believe, for reasons as yet…unknown
    in some Communist Marxist Double Reverse Secret Probation.

    Batman You better call Commissioner Gordon.


    Batman: I will merely feed the text of the interview into the Bat Computer I was able to smuggle over here hidden
    in my utilility belt and we’ll compare that with known statements of Cardinal Bergoglio and liberal left-wing androids at MSNBC,
    checking that against previous media pranks by Mayor Giuliani involving strange or unusual costumes and television celebrities also involved in gimmicks and publicity stunts.
    null

  5. Tom says:

    Didn’t Mayor Giuliani run on a platform similar to that of one of his ancestral land’s leaders?

    null
    “I made the subways run on time.”

  6. HowlinglyAbsurd says:


    Robin: Gosh, I’m thirsty, Batman. I could really go for a Coca-cola.
    Batman: Just make sure to select an appropriate size can or bottle, Robin.
    Mayor Bloomberg has taken time off from real crime fighting to bust violators of Gotham City’s large soda ban.
    Robin: Gosh, I know it, Batman.
    Batman: You wouldn’t want the number of calories to exceed Mayor Bloomberg’s limits for growing teenage crime fighters.
    Robin: I guess I could go for a Snapple.
    Batman: Too much high fructose corn syrup, Robin.
    We’ll have to stop at a Fresh Fields or Whole Foods and find a natural fruit juice beverage more suitable so you can pass the Mayor’s fitness test
    for high school students.
    Robin: Don’t you think Mayor Bloomberg is getting a little obsessive-compulsive and anal-retentive on this soda ban, Batman?
    Ridiculously and absurdly obsessive and neurotic, even for a crazy liberal fruitcake busybody?

    Batman: Undoubtedly, Robin! But let’s keep running to convert the carbs into muscle.
    There is nothing an arch-villain fears more than a fit and toned crime fighter without the fatigue of too much caffeine.

  7. Tom says:

    null
    Robin: Holy carbs, Batman, you said that you were only going to have one drink to stay within Mayor Bloomberg’s limit, but you’ve had enough Bat-suds to pass that limit and fill the Bat-cesspool when you pass your Bat-brew. I had only one Bat-cola, and a diet one at that, because I’m too young to drink Bat-beer legally, but I’m old enough to drive the Batmobile legally; so, give me the Bat-keys, and I’ll drive you back to the Batcave.
    Batman: Jush one more round for the road, Robin, old shum. Or ish it: One more road for the round, Robin? Thash sounds more poetic.

  8. Cyprian says:

    BERGOGLIO: Friend, I’ve been studying America this month before the Pope chose to resign. You must not have fear at speaking the truth. It is for the salvation of souls and the recovery of Thomas Jefferson’s people. America must not fall to the new painted communism. Even the low information voters don’t want America to be sold into slavery. I pray they cast out the money changers in their government! What manner of government is there that condones sin? Abomination upon abomination–giving monies for the murder of children, giving monies for the murder of the elderly! You are an American. Your government, My child, has been infiltrated by men of sin.
    REPORTER: These are pretty radical ideas.

    This is a riot! Bergie’s vying for his own AM Radio talk show, and Chrissy’s leg is tingling so bad he can’t muster a spit of demagoguery. “Low information voters?” What a pope!

  9. jzgonzales1985 says:

    Liars!
    Thou shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.

    www.snopes.com/politics/religion/matthews.asp

    • Tim says:

      With all due respect, get a life.
      Snopes is not a reliable source, anyway. It is run by Pelosi operatives in SF.
      How dare you call anyone a liar? Do you even know me? I simply posted something that was interesting, whether or not it actually occured is irrelevant, the content was interesting. No one claimed either truth or fiction. I guess Tolkien was a liar as well as “Middle earth and Orcs don’t exist. Tragically the Novus Orco does exist. Look up the definition of calmuny and meditate on it.
      God Bless

  10. gpmtrad says:

    Well said, O great one! Well said.

    And, to Senor Gonzales….

    ‘Round these parts, Mistuh, Tim is a giant in a world full o’ midgets. Ya don’t cross him. Ya don’t insult him. And ya don’t second guess him! Leastwise not if’n y’all dont’ want yer noggin inserted up some part o’ yer alimentary canal, permanent-like!

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